Falling For You
by willwrite4fics
Summary: ..from a plane of course.. he's Airborne. BH/CG Can BeachHead rescue CoverGirl when she's falling without a parachute? Not a long several-chapters story, satifies the plot bunny gnawing at me. Now it's out of my head. Please enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

Hey yes.. this is a short plot bunny that wouldn't leave me alone.. first it was the first action piece then it was the after stuff.. but I think I've subdued the stupid plot bunny completely now.

Yes, I have written another BeachHead story. Imagine that! This one with Action and Adventure! And parachutes and planes....

I still don't own GI Joe and have no rights towards the universe or characters, and I make not one thin dime off all this writing I do. I do it because I love to write, and because YOU love to read it!

Enough junk.. jump right into the story!

* * * *

BeachHead swayed in place slightly, staring across the cargo hold of the plane at the standoff. Right now he was assessing the situation for options and coming up short.

A nondescript man in camo stood with his back to the plane wall, LadyJaye held securely in front of him with his pistol pressed to her side. The rear 'tailgate' of the plane was open.. the wind rushing past and making everything difficult to hear. Flint stood to one side of BeachHead, motioning for the gunman to calm down and let Jaye go.. his shouts having little effect. Beach's eyes flicked to CoverGirl standing beside the terrorist, obviously torn between backing off and trying to help.

BeachHead's .45 pistol was gripped tightly, yet held downward in a less threatening position. The madman had demanded he drop the weapon entirely, which wasn't going to happen. You never relinquished your weapon in a hostage situation. Back off some, but never let go of the gun. Right now he waited as Flint tried to talk the guy into letting Jaye go, hoping he'd get an opening to take the guy out if he didn't become more agreeable. Most of the rest of the team had jumped out of the gate moments earlier on a training mission over Georgia. Before BeachHead could go out, one of the support personnel had produced a weapon and yanked Jaye over by her hair. Now he demanded that they fly the plane south to mexico so he could turn them all over to Destro for a reward.

Eying the open rear door, BeachHead shifted slightly down the walkway. At this point, he was the only one in the plane already wearing a parachute. He would have been out the door as well, except something about the guy as he walked stiffly up to Jaye caught his eye. He'd stopped himself two steps from following Duke out of the plane. He'd only drawn his sidearm when Jaye was grabbed and the man produced his own weapon.

The guy shifted himself further towards the open rear door and BeachHead lifted his pistol slightly. "Stop right there! Don't move.." His voice was loud but his tone calm and even. No time to panic.. time to be calm, take the situation into hand.

Flint's voice came from his right although BeachHead's eyes never left his opponent's. "Just put the gun down.. you're not leaving this plane.. it's not gonna happen. Let her go.. you're going to get yourself killed." The Sergeant major admired Flint's resolve and control, seeing as it was his girlfriend being held at gunpoint. "Drop the weapon and you'll get to live.."

"Throw that gun out the door!! Do it now! I'll shoot her!" The maniac was getting closer to panic the longer his plan continued to fail. CoverGirl stepped one half step closer to him to BeachHead's concern. Just as he caught her eye and flicked his gaze to the side to tell her to back off, the guy turned his head and caught sight of her movement. "GET AWAY FROM ME!"

She smiled and began to lift her hands and back off when he kicked out at her, catching her in the chest.. flinging her backwards.

Out of the rear door of the plane. Without a chute. At thirty-five thousand feet. BeachHead felt his world give a odd lurch and his brain automatically began to count off the seconds from the instant he'd seen her disappear past the gangway. One-one-thousand... his gaze tore from the empty doorway to latch onto the guy's face as he turned back to grin at them all, pleased at the fact that he'd killed one of them. She hadn't been wearing a chute because she wasn't supposed to jump.. she'd been support personnel only.. just like Flint and Jaye.. two-one-thousand... his right hand came up in a smooth arc, bringing the .45 to bear on the smug grin as his left hand came around to grip and steady in the classic shooter's stance... three-one-thousand... he sighted on the guy's right eye and squeezed the trigger carefully.. watched the bullet tear through LadyJaye's curly locks of brown hair and impact exactly where he'd sighted it.. saw the man's head snap back... four-one-thousand... dropped the gun on the platform.. heard Flint's bellow as the terrorist's body began to drop, Jaye stepping away unhurt, ducking reflexibly too late to have done any good if his aim had been off.. his legs already beginning to stride towards the open doorway where Courtney had disappeared.. heart beginning to pound... five-one-thousand... broke into a flat out run as he pitched himself out into open air.. calculating in his head desperately how fast the plane was moving.. ignoring the terror beginning to course through his veins.. how fast Courtney would be falling.. which direction was he facing now? Six-one-thousand.. and he oriented himself in his fall, stifling the scream wailing instead his head, steadying his position and beginning to search desperately for the pinpoint of a falling body below his outstretched limbs. He slipped through the air to bring himself closer to where she should have been.. but it was a big big sky over a lot of hard unforgiving ground... Seven-one-thousand.. where was she? He didn't think about what remnants would be left if he didn't find her in time to stop the fall.. didn't want to calculate the impact speed of a body.. eight-one-thousand.. clenched his teeth tightly while he looked across the open air.. how much time did he have now to catch up, hook up somehow, and open the chute? How many seconds before his safety distance was compromised and he had to open his chute to save himself.. would it be worth it to even bother opening his chute at all? Nine-one-thousand... there.... there? His eyes tried to focus on a small figure and he twisted his body to aim towards it.. shooting through the thin air like an arrow. He steered easily.. catching up more quickly than he could have hoped. THERE!

"COURTNEY!!!" His shout was unheard.. he knew she couldn't hear him over the rushing noise of air blowing past her at terminal velocity. It didn't matter.. she was spread out trying to slow her fall.. a fruitless effort without a parachute.. but one that impossibly could end up saving her as he managed to catch up to her.

Smacking into her from the side, he grabbed desperately at her arm, ignoring the thrashing, feeling a wash of relief that at least he had found her, now to save her... "COURTNEY!!!"

She twisted and stared at him, long strands of her tangled hair whipping his eyes briefly, grasping at his chest straps. "BEACH!! BEACH!!! I'M GONNA DIE!!! HELP ME!!"

He couldn't help the foolish grin that spread over his face. "I ain't gonna let ya die Barbiedoll!! Who'd play pranks on me in the messhall!?" He pried her hands off his chute straps. "LEGGO!!!" He shoved one of her hands underneath the strap instead, making her arms cross as she got both of them intertwined under the chest straps and holding on to the opposite strap. "Under and grab on to the other strap.. it's gonna jerk really hard!!! Don't let go!! I don't care if your danged arms break!! Don't you let go!!" She nodded and her grip tightened. He kicked her legs away from where she tried to cling to him and wrapped his own around her thighs to lock his ankles into place. Pressing himself to her, forcing his muscles to lock into place around her slight form, he held to Courtney as if she held the very breath of life for him. One arm went around her to pull her body in tight to his in a desperate full body embrace meant to save her.

"Beach!! Please!!" Her face was so close to his. "If I die!!! I want you to know.. I lo.."

"Shut up!! Yer not dying today! Tuck yer face into my chest.. hang on.." He reached up to yank the ripcord and wrapped that arm around her chest as well, grabbing his own wrists to lock her against him as tightly as he could. For just two seconds, his eyes focused on the ground below them.. rushing up to them bringing death with it. Then the sudden shock of the chute releasing and opening yanked them hard. The weight of both of them slammed into BeachHead via his webbing harness. His tight grip with arms and legs meant she didn't have to take the full weight on her arms through his harness strapping, so she didn't slip. They swung around wildly for a moment before stabilizing somewhat under the open canopy.

Her face lifted free and stared up at the chute. "It's open!! We're okay!"

He gripped her tightly. "Not yet we ain't.. we're falling waay fast. Too much weight on the chute. Hang tight.. I can't steer us and we're gonna hit the ground hard. We'll need to cut away as soon as we're down.. got it?? Cut away if I can't! We're too heavy.. " He looked past her face to the ground still coming up entirely too quickly. "Dang it.. not in the danged brush!!"

Before Courtney could wonder.. they smashed down into tough dark branches, Beach taking the brunt of the fall. His back crushed through the thin branches with the parachute pack mostly protecting his back from the thorns and broken wood.. mostly. His gritted teeth and stifled yelps told her that his body armor wasn't protecting him completely and she shouted as her shin was stabbed by a broken limb.

Beach jerked as he felt the sharp splintered wood driving into the backs of his thighs, a sharp odd pop as something ragged knifed into his side.. he tried to ignore the tearing sensation as a broken limb raked across his neck.

Finally they impacted into the ground.. the sudden hard landing knocking the breath out of the Ranger while CoverGirl smashed her face into his chest plate hard enough to stun her momentarily. His limbs finally came free of the desperate embrace as skull met ground with a final thump.

A few seconds later she lifted her face off the armor, trying to disentangle her arms from the harnessing. Beach struggled to reach his chest with his left arm.. only half-conscious from the landing. "Cu-way.. cu-way.."

She tried to focus on what he was trying to say. "Beach.. you okay? What? I'm okay I think.."

His hand fumbled between them. "Cuu-away.." A sudden gust of wind snatched at the fallen chute, partially re-inflating it and causing it to drag the prone Ranger through the broken hawthorn shrubs. "Get off.. cut away.. pull.. strap.." Plucking weakly at the release strap, he struggled to tug at it.

CoverGirl grabbed at the straps, pulling fruitlessly on the cords before she managed to find the right one and yanked it hard. The chute was released to collapse into the bushes while the dragging motion finally halted BeachHead's steady progress through the broken branches covered by thorns. "Beach.. you okay? Are you okay?" CoverGirl's lower leg throbbed as she managed to get to her hands and knees. Unlatching the pack straps, she soon had him free of harnessing. "How bad are you hurt?"

"Danged... hawthorn bushes.. couldn't we land in cactus?" His weak voice did less to reassure her than the complaint. "Get off me.." CoverGirl scrambled to take her weight off his body, trying to see where she could help him move to.

"Beach.. hold still.. " She let out a soft cry as her arm was snagged by a thorny limb. The sharp odor from the weedy bushes stung her nose, even as the thorns and jagged bits of branches burned where they broke her flesh. She put a hand on his arm as he ignored her instruction and tried to sit up. "Please.. be still.. I can't tell how bad you're hurt."

"Get me outa these branches.. cuttin' me ta ribbons.." Seeing he wasn't going to stop, she tried to help lift his weight. He jerked and sagged back down suddenly, trying to reach under his thigh to yank a splinter free of it's attached branch. "Now.. try it again.." With her assistance, he got to his feet and picked his way out of the brush pile they'd made of the little grove. CoverGirl supported his weight when his right leg threatened to collapse under him.

Once freed from the hawthorn brush, Beach let himself sink back to the ground, settling onto his left hip gingerly. Fumbling at his thigh again, he tried to drag the chunk of splinter out with several tugs and curses. CoverGirl knelt to check him carefully.

"Stop Beach.. " She pushed his hands away and plucked the blood soaked cloth away to have a look. "It's really deep... we should leave it alone.. let the medics take care of it."

"Ain't no danged medics.. it's burning.. yank it out, dang it. It's danged wood.. pull it out or I will!" As he tried to reach for it, she pushed his hand aside again. "Dang it!"

"Hush. I'll see if I can remove it.. just stop trying to yank at it." She turned to him. "Beach.. thanks.. you saved me."

"Yeah.. well.. " He took a deeper breath and winced. "Wasn't gonna let you die. Bastard goes kicking folks outa planes.. what the heck was all that?"

She grasped the splinter and pulled gently, trying to free it without causing more damage to the torn flesh. "I don't know.. I just know that was the most scared I've ever been. I hope LadyJaye is okay and he didn't hurt her."

Beach coughed slightly. "He didn't hurt no one.. I shot him just a'fore I jumped out after you."

She gave him a long look. "Good that he didn't hurt anyone.. I didn't know you could come after me that way."

"I didn't either.. you were out of the danged plane nine seconds.. we'd moved a good bit off from where you were.. I didn't think I was gonna be able to locate ya in time." He gritted his teeth as the finger-thick splinter was dragged free of his leg. "Aahhhh.. "

"You wanted it out.. hold still.." The slender blond finally tugged it free and held it up for him. "Wow.. jebus Beach. That's what? Five inches into your leg? See, we should have left it alone. Lifeline is gonna yell at me for pulling it out."

"Well, sucks ta be you I guess.. wasn't no fun havin' it in there." He reached around to his side, feeling under the edge of his chest plate. Fumbling at the buckles, he began to undo the straps.

"What are you doing?" CoverGirl bent to help unfasten his body armor. "What's wrong?"

"I dunno.. somethin' under the plate.. don't feel right at all.." When he peeled the front plate off, he looked down at the bloody sweater and sighed lightly. "Crap." The jagged tip of a strip of branch poked through his belly skin. At least it wasn't bleeding badly from the hole.

"How bad is it? How'd you get a stick under your armor like this.." She reached to begin to tug it loose before he could.

"Stop.. STOP!" He grabbed her wrist hard enough to make her wince. Gasping in shallow pants, BeachHead reached behind his side and groaned. "It's through me.."

"What do you mean..." Picking at the tattered sweater, CoverGirl freed the folds of cloth from the bits of wood, finding the end of the thin splinter sticking out from just under his ribs on the side. "Beach.. god.. you're impaled.. we got to get you some help.."

"Yeah.. " BeachHead laid back, his breathing beginning to quicken. "Ask one a them squirrels fer their first aid references.. "

"Are you okay?" She bent over him. "You're getting pale."

"Shock.. I gotta get up.." His struggle to sit up made him whimper softly at the pain in his abdomen. "Help me up.."

"BeachHead.. you can't walk with a piece of tree stuck through your stomach!" Despite her chastisement, CoverGirl took his arm to help heave him up to his feet, steadying him as he staggered. "Easy.. what are you doing? You should lie down.. where do you think you can walk to?"

He tottered two steps and stopped to peer around. Feeling his thigh pocket, he unbuttoned it and dragged out a map. "We can't be that far from Benning.. we was over it when the rest of the team jumped." His eyes narrowed as he peered around for a moment. CoverGirl took the time to retrieve the parachute, stuffing it into his discarded rucksack that she pulled free of the brush with a great deal of effort. Her cursing as she gained more shallow gashes from the broken branches made Beach turn to see what she was doing. "CoverGirl.. whatcha doin' over there?"

"I'm seeing what all we have.. inventory.." She discarded various items, stuffing the others back into the pack. "I'm leaving your body armor.. get the rest of it off too.."

"Alright.." His compliance surprised her a bit, making her alarmed at how badly he was injured. A few minutes and the rest of his armor joined the chest and back plate in a heap. She shoved the chute into the bag however. He held up the map and pointed at it. "We oughta be here.. or near-abouts here. Hiking out to the south-southwest.. we'll hit Benning's property-lines. Then someone will spot us." Tucking the map carefully back into the thigh pocket, he tried to take a deeper breath and tilted his head up to peer at the bright sun overhead. "Ain't gettin' no where standin' here."

CoverGirl snapped the straps of the rucksack across her chest, tugging all the adjustable straps snugger to fit her. "What happened to your communicator anyway?"

Beach held up his left arm without looking back at her, beginning to walk hesitantly through the brush slowly, limping heavily on the punctured leg. "Busted.. found a few bits of it on the ground." His lower arm was scraped and raw, a slight bruise forming already on his wrist and hand where the comm unit had been ripped free during the crash landing. "I knew I shoulda put a hand unit in my pocket.."

"Hindsight.. let me help you.." She tucked herself under his right arm, keeping away from the jutting stick in his side. "Lean on me if you need to."

"I'll need to..." The Ranger shivered despite the warm weather. "Are ya okay?"

"I'm fine.. busted my leg a little.. I'm still shaking." She steadied him as he staggered a bit. "Easy there tough guy.."

"Yeah.. adrenalin. It'll wear off. Happens to ya when ya nearly die." He was struggling to breathe the further he walked. After only twenty minutes he'd slowed to barely moving even with her help. "Sorry.. can't... can't catch my breath.." It was beginning to alarm him as his chest worked ten times as hard trying to get air into his lungs. No matter how much he tried to suck in air, it wasn't working properly and gray shadows were beginning to creep up around the edges of his vision.

"Do you need to rest? Here.. sit down. You shouldn't be walking." CoverGirl staggered slightly as his full weight came down on her abruptly. "Easy easy.."

"Sorry.. can't.." He suddenly began to black out and felt his legs collapse. "Sorry.." Laying on his side again to stay off the impaling bits of wood, his chest heaved as his lungs refused to cooperate. The thought made him groan. "Mah lung.. collapsin'.. "

CoverGirl dropped the rucksack and bent over him. "Beach come on.. don't.. what can I do? You're the one with medic training.. you can't do this." She pulled his mask free, trying to straighten him out and listening to his ragged breathing beginning to falter.

"Yer gonna.." He struggled to stay conscious. "..hafta poke a hole.... in mah side.." Another gasping effort. "Put inna chest tube.."

"I don't have a chest tube! Beach.. how am I supposed to do that?" Even as she spoke, she was grabbing the pack to dig through it. "How big a tube?"

"Spout.. waterpack..." BeachHead pointed. "Cut it.."

"This is crazy..." CoverGirl pulled her combat knife and sliced the tube off of the waterskin. She looked at the plastic cap on the end. "I'll leave the end intact.. I can shut the tube up once we get your lung working.."

"Good.." His voice faded to a breathless whisper. "Here.." His fingers felt along his ribs. "Hurry.."

Looking at her knife, she hesitated. "Beach.. I don't want to do this.. what if I screw up? I could kill you.."

"Dying.. jus' do it..." His eyes closed and he felt her shaking hands touching his side. The thick sweater was tugged up and out of the way. A shudder ran through him and he felt his legs twitch. The sharp pain as her knife cut him brought him aware again, followed by the intense pain of the tube being inserted. When it seated into the proper spot, air flooded out in a wheezing rush. Almost immediately he felt better, his breathing finally able to deepen enough to provide the much needed oxygen. "Better..."

"Okay.. okay.. just for the record.. I prefer to work on vehicle engines.. I don't want to do this ever again.." Using duct tape from his kit she secured the tube. "I'm going to stopper the tube.."

"M'kay..." When she was done, he could still breathe and tried to sit up. "Ya did good.."

"Lie down.. you're not walking any further. I doubt you could take ten steps right now.." She moved away and he tried to turn to watch what she was doing.

"We can't sit and wait.. no one's gonna find us out here..." He watched with some curiosity as she dragged the chute out and began folding it into a pallet sized pad. Finding two long limbs in the nearby brush and trees took her several minutes but she eventually returned to lay them down. "Yer gonna drag me out onna litter? Girl.. yer half mah weight.."

"Well, I'm not going to leave my big brave hero laying out here for the wolves to eat. Sitting here won't get us rescued. Even if I could carry you on my shoulders, it would probably be the worst possible way to do it with your injuries.. so litter it is." While she talked to him, she was laying the folds of parachute silk over the sticks, tucking a rock under the layers of cloth and grabbing it from the top side to wrap cord around the bulge to make a button attachment. "Wow.. look.. that really works well. I've never done it outside of training."

"Yaa.. buttons..." He paused to breathe a few times. "Smart gal.. "

"Thanks. I'm not just a tank jockey.. I know stuff too. This big thick-headed Ranger kept beating useless survival tidbits of information into my head no matter how much I tried to ignore him." She smiled to herself as she used the cords from the parachute to tie off the folded cloth, forming a travois litter quickly.

"Sounds like a real jerk.." He grinned at her weakly. "Ya oughta give 'em a swift kick in the rear.."

"I do... on a regular basis. I think he likes it." The huffing laugh reassured her a lot. "Okay.. not the prettiest stretcher you've ever been carried on.. "

"Prettiest trooper carryin' me though.." Getting him onto the litter proved he was too weak to even stand, making her worried again. "Sorry.. "

"Not your fault.. just relax.. if I was hurt, wouldn't you be dragging me out?" She put the rucksack on his thighs.

"Naw.. I'd yell at ya to get yer sorry butt up on those long shapely legs and walk out on yer own." His eyes seemed to fade for a few seconds.

"Beach.. wake up.." She pinched his arm, making him twitch in annoyance. "Stay awake here. I'm having an argument with you, no falling asleep. You'd carry me out.. you already carried me to a chopper once."

"Tha' don't count..." He took a breath. "Yer leg was busted.."

Taking up the poles, she tugged the litter forward. Once she got the thing moving it wasn't too bad to move despite the heavy weight of the man laying in it. "So? You had a piece of tree through your leg.. and you still have a piece of tree stuck through your belly."

"Bones are intact... counts different.." A few seconds passed and his tired voice spoke up again. "Yer not goin' the right way.."

"What do you know? You can't see where we're going." She puffed a breath out as they started up a slope, beginning to feel the pull in her back and thighs.

"I can see where we been.. head ta the north more.. nooo.. yer other north Barbiedoll.." She changed direction slightly again. "There ya go.. don't go gettin' us lost out here.."

"Back seat drivers suck, Beach.. just saying. I can still leave you out here for the wolves to eat." Once over the slight hill she sighted in on a tall rock and used it as her guide to stay headed in a straight line.

"Ain't no wolves in Georgia.. coyotes maybe... snakes.. maybe a bear.. sharp tongued tank jockeys.."

"You're pushing your luck Ranger man.. " She grinned despite herself. "How's the lung?"

"Gettin' short a breath.. gonna pop my cap again.." He coughed slightly.

"Can you reach it okay?" He grunted assent at her and she continued to drag the litter. "I know you're hurting.. otherwise you'd have argued more about me carrying you out."

"Can't walk.. what's ta argue." He still sounded disgruntled over it. "Ah still jumped outa plane to save ya.."

"That you did. I'll always think of you as my knight in shining armor. Or.. my sergeant in battered kevlar." She moved to go around a thick patch of bushes, making certain to keep an eye on the angles with her rock in the distance.

"Gawd.. yer a smartass.." He paused. "Yer goin' all crooked again."

"I'm going around the bushes, you doofus. Shut up and ride."

* * * *

Over two hours later, CoverGirl had taken a few breaks but made good progress when she saw the first signs indicating a government installation. The warning signs about trespass made her sigh in relief. "Beach.. we're officially trespassing on Fort Benning." She felt him shift on the litter as he tried to look. "Hang on.. I'll turn so you can see."

Peering at the sign and then around at the area, Beach dug out his map. "Alright.. We're on the south end.. keep headed in the same direction and we should hit somethin'.. or someone will spot us.." He puffed a few breaths. "Is it cold?"

Wiping sweat off her face, CoverGirl twisted to look back at him. "No.. it's warm.. are you cold?"

"Yeah.." His faded voice made her want to stop to check him but she just tried to speed up her walking instead. He was either in shock or bleeding too much and either way, she couldn't help him. She could get him to help if she kept dragging though.

When she saw the third flicker of movement she stopped. "Beach.. I keep thinking I'm seeing something." There was no reply and she put the litter poles down to check on him. His lips were getting a blue tinge again, his breathing shallow. "Beach.. come on.. wake up.." She released the cap on the tube, letting the accumulated air escape again. Jostling him a few times gently made his eyes flicker open. "Come on.. wake up. You're the navigator.. you can't sleep.."

"Sorry.." His chest heaved a few times and he coughed softly. "Can't breathe real good.." He fumbled at his side and she pushed his hand aside.

"I already released it.. try to take a deep breath.. come on.. breathe in.." After a moment he could finally manage a shallow breath and she recapped the tube. "Alright.. you have to keep awake.. I keep thinking I see something.. in the trees and brush."

He looked around, peering carefully at the surrounding area. "Yell. I saw someone.. tell 'em we're US Army.."

She stood up and cupped her hands to yell loudly. "US ARMY!! I HAVE WOUNDED!! MAN DOWN!! US ARMY!" It was quiet for a few minutes and then two bits of forest suddenly stepped free of the surrounded brush and approached her with rifles held downward. She spread hands out to show her unarmed status. "I got a wounded man here.. need a medical extraction."

"Step off.. move away from the litter..." She was still while the two approached. He reached to pat her down quickly when the low growl came from the makeshift stretcher.

"Get yer hands off her." BeachHead glared at the young man who had twisted to look at him. "Any part a ya that touches her.. ya ain't gonna get ta take home wit' ya... ya got me?" His low tone held the threat of violence in it. "Ya'll Rangers?"

A quick nod and CoverGirl suddenly grinned as the young man narrowed his gaze at the wounded man. "Private Reid, Ranger trainee.. we're on a training mission.. no communications, no vehicles.."

CoverGirl stepped over to bend down at BeachHead. "Look Beach.. we've been rescued by baby Rangers! Aren't you proud?"

"Shut it Barbiedoll."

Private Reid motioned to the woodline with two fingers up. Two additional camouflaged figures approached. He turned to the two bedraggled rescuees. "Name and rank?"

CoverGirl smiled at him. "Corporal Kreiger, US Army." She didn't miss the slight twinge at the fact that she actually outranked him. She gave a slight wave at her downed companion. "Sergeant major Sneeden.. Army Ranger..." She truly enjoyed the sudden dawning light in the boy's face.

"S-Sneeden?"

She glanced down to see Beach acquire a slight smile. "Yes.. THAT Sneeden.. you've heard of Sergeant Hardass here I presume?"

"Ah'm gonna run that smart mouth right off yer face, Cinderella.. ya keep it up." The disgruntled tone almost covered the weakness betrayed by his voice. "Jus' get us a medical evac so Ah ain't gotta listen ta her no more."

CoverGirl saw the private make the decision that since Beach was wounded and out of his element, he had the upper hand over a feared legendary drill instructor. She almost pitied him. He knelt next to the litter.

"We'll do our best to haul your sorry butt out of here.. since you're off your feet and all.." His smug expression was wiped clear when a powerful hand seized his throat and squeezed. He had made the classic mistake of being within BeachHead's reach while making snarky comments. Drawing him in closer, BeachHead's displeased expression deepened.

His voice wasn't as loud or commanding as normal.. but the deep accent definitely held the same tone of contained violence. "Look ya little pogue.. Ah done shot one man in his danged pointy head already. Ah jumped outa a plane to save the corporal there.. landed in danged hawthorn brush.. had someone stab a freakin' tube inta mah chest.. and had ta listen ta a girl the size a mah left leg complain while she dragged my busted up body outa the landin' zone. Don't ya think Ah done had quite enough humiliation fer one day? Or do ya wanna be guy number two that Ah get ta shoot in the danged head?"

"Sorry Sergeant major!" Beach gave a slight shove as he released him and he fell back onto his butt on the ground. "We'll get you out of here, no fears." He stood up and gave a sharp whistle. "UNIT UP!"

At least ten trainees appeared and he directed them fairly efficiently to fix the travois into a proper stretcher so they could carry BeachHead instead of dragging it. CoverGirl was handed a bottle of water while one of the guys tended to her leg. The other medically trained trooper checked BeachHead's various wounds and the jury-rigged chest tube with some trepidation.

"Sergeant major.. I have a chest tube in our kit.. but if this is working, I don't want to pull it and replace it, so I'm going to leave it as is." The nervous sandy-haired youngster dared to give him a slight pat-pat-pat on his shoulder. "You'll do okay, don't worry, we'll take good care of you."

BeachHead sighed. "Jus' get on the danged move. Ya'll wait around any longer and chest tube or not, I'm gettin' up and walkin' out on my danged own."

CoverGirl stepped to his side as they lifted the stretcher. "Be nice Beach.. these are your little ones.. you should be nurturing them.. they'll all grow up to be real Rangers one day." Her teasing made the closest trainees twitch and move slightly further away. "You just lie still and rest. You breathing okay?"

"Ah'm breathin'... good 'nuff." He closed his eyes as they moved through the rugged terrain.

By the time the group of trainees were intercepted by the Ranger cadre of instructors, CoverGirl had proved to them that she was able to keep up despite the rucksack pack she'd insisted on carrying. She reassured BeachHead that they would go back and find his body armor some time later on. Private Reid offered to go personally for it as soon as he had permission to go off base grounds.

When the cadre had first seen the group, they'd bellowed at them for breaking cover during the exercise. The sight of the improvised stretcher and strange female soldier silenced them until they got the full story. A evac chopper was called in immediately.

One of the staff sergeants had called their medic in and knelt beside the stretcher. "Sergeant major Sneeden.. a pleasure to meet you. We'll have the chopper up here in ten minutes.. our medic is headed here at a trot, he'll ride back with you. How are you doing?"

BeachHead's eyes blinked at him a few times. "Ah gotta straw stuck in mah chest.. and half a tree jammed through the rest a me. How do ya think Ah'm doin?"

"Umm.. sorry Sergeant major.." He stood up and backed off, standing near CoverGirl as an excuse to get out of range. "Is he always this.. uhhh.. snappish?"

Courtney looked over fondly at her friend laid up, now berating the newly arrived medic. "Oh no no.." The sergeant relaxed slightly. "Most of the time he's not nearly this pleasant.. but then, he can barely breathe, so I wouldn't get used to his winning personality. He'll go back to being grumpy as soon as medical fixes him up."

"You mean... he gets worse?" The look of horror actually pleased her.. filling her with an odd sense of pride that GI Joe's Sergeant major was so feared. "Good lord... how do you put up with that?"

"It's easy.. you learn to give one hundred and ten percent all the time. That pleases him enough that he'll put up with you existing in his universe." She watched him swallow nervously. "Don't worry.. as soon as the chopper gets here, he'll be someone else's problem."

"Thank god for choppers." He turned as the faint sound of the rotors was heard. "Once they get you two back to base, you'll be able to contact your C.O."

"Good." She went back to BeachHead's side. "Stop fussing at the medic.. duct tape is not an approved bandage. He's right. Just be glad you'll probably be out cold when they remove it."

"Whaddaya mean, 'out cold'?" His glare simply made her pat his hand.

"You don't think they'll be able to remove the wood impaling you without surgery, do you?" Her smiled never faltered through the loud round of cursing that followed. "Come on Beach.. I'll stick with you for the surgery. You'll do fine."

"Stupid.. I wish I hadn't shot that jerk in his stupid head... I want to go get his body and shoot it a few more danged times!" He grumbled under his breath a few minutes. "Dang it! I'm the hero, I shouldn't hafta go getting surgery!"

"Would you like them to just yank the stick out of your liver without any anesthesia?"

"Shut up, Barbiedoll.. it ain't you that's gonna puke up yer bootlaces fer a day!"

"No, I have the worse end, I'll have to listen to you while you do it."

"So lemme get this straight.. Ah jump outa a plane to save yer life after ya manage to fall out without a danged chute... Ah save yer life.. get wounded in the danged process from landin' on hawthorn trees.. and mah thanks is you stabbin' me with a knife in mah side and gettin' harrassed by ya?"

"Yes.. but remember you liked getting stabbed.. you asked for it. And don't forget to add to your reward... getting cut on by strange surgeons! Won't that be grand?"

"Gawd.. where's that stupid chopper?"

"Awww Beach.. " CoverGirl deepened her voice to mock his accent. "Yer mah danged old hero, ya are!"

"Can Ah still choose dying? Cause Ah think Ah'd prefer to be dead right now.. "

"Nope, you don't get a vote. You're wounded and not in your right mind so you get no say in the matter. Oh look! The chopper is here! Hey!! That's Flint! Look Beach... Flint came to rescue you! Baby Rangers AND Flint!"

"Oh gawd... mah day gets better and better..."

* * * *

Poor old BeachHead.. never a kind hand...

I promise.. I'm going to pull up the Little Medic fic and look at it. Promise! Hope you enjoyed this one though. Thinking vaguely about a 'afterward' because you know.. Fort Benning isn't all that far from Atlanta...

Shh.... I know I know.. Little Medic.. I know!!!


	2. Chapter 2:Waking up is hard to do

Ahhh yes.. there is not one more chapter to this.. there's about 3. Sorry to put ya'll through reading about my favorite Ranger in another hospital.. but FanFiction wouldn't let me upload and I wanted to add just another bit.. so now it's really long. I found it amusing.

This chapter is Beach waking up and being.. well.. BeachHead under the influence of post-anesthesia. Sorry Beach, but you're SO amusing when you're whacked out of your head. And yes.. for those asking, a special visitor WILL show up later on!

* * * *

CoverGirl watched Flint get up to pace across the surgical waiting room. After gritting her teeth for ten entire seconds, she snapped at him. "Flint, sit down! You're driving me insane!" She wouldn't have said anything but it WAS the tenth time he'd done it.

Looking sheepish, he settled into one of the uncomfortable institutional waiting room chairs used by every hospital in the world. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry, just stop doing it. You'd think you couldn't sit still for ten minutes." She crossed her arms and rubbed at some of the bruises already beginning to color up nicely on her arms. The parachute straps had bitten into her flesh rather deeply, despite BeachHead's tight embrace.

"Alright, I'm sitting. Sorry. I hate hospitals."

"We ALL hate hospitals. Sit down before I decide I might get away with PTSD and pitch you through the window or something. Jaye will yell at me for hours if I do that." She couldn't quite keep a straight face while she said it. He still huffed slightly and settled into one of the institutional waiting room chairs that every hospital in the world used. "Thanks. Pacing drives me nuts."

"Sorry. You know.." Flint glared at her. "I am a warrant officer.. you really should try not to act like I'm five and you want to ground me without cookies."

"Flint trust me.. I don't want to act like your mommy."

"See? See?? That's what I mean. You could say 'sorry sir' and let it go. But nooo.. you gotta make snarky comments. It's that blasted BeachHead's fault that you don't respect me." Flint looked rather annoyed.

"Oh please! BeachHead has run me more miles for being mouthy to you or to Duke than he has for me yanking HIS chain. Don't go blaming my smart mouth on any lack of effort on his part." She crossed her arms and absolutely forbid herself to scratch at her arm.

"Right. Of course you'd defend him." Flint was winding down and sounding like he regretted saying anything in the first place.

"Of COURSE I'm going to defend him! What kind of moron are you!? The man just SAVED MY DANGED LIFE!! He jumped out of a plane and FOUND me falling through the sky about to die! He's looked out for me since I arrived here! He yanked that.. that ASSHOLE off me when he attacked me in the barracks! AND HE'S RIGHT! So stop being a big old JERK!" She abruptly shut her mouth and sat back in her chair and tried very hard not to think about how she was just about to get her walking papers handed to her for finally stepping over the line.

Flint stared at her and finally reached out to put a hand on her shoulder. "You know.. he's gonna be fine."

"I KNOW THAT!" She brushed the hand off and to her absolute horror she started to sniffle instead. "Shut up! Don't! Just.. " Tears started to drip from her eyes and she wiped at them with the side of her hand. "Don't you say ANYTHING!"

"CoverGirl.. it's okay.. it's just the stress.. it's not a big deal.." Flint shifted to the seat next to her and put one arm around her shoulders awkwardly. "Really... shh.. it's alright. You nearly died.. and then you had to drag Mr Grump out of the woods.. and now you have to sit in a waiting room with no word while I annoy you... anyone would cry. Heck.. I'd cry. I cry sometimes just because I have to put up with myself."

She coughed slightly and finally got the tears to stop. "Shut up." Leaning into him, she closed the eyes that would no doubt get red and puffy and ugly because she couldn't ever shed a tear without looking like she was having a allergic reaction to air. She wished she could cry in a pretty fashion. "I'm gonna tell Beach you were hugging on me. He'll kick your butt."

Flint laughed softly. "Well.. if I thought I'd get my butt kicked by him for hugging you.. I'd feel you up some too. Might as well be worth getting a butt-kicking."

She peered up at his face. "I'll tell Jaye you said that." His arm left so fast it made her hair flutter. "I thought so." Smiling a little, she reached to squeeze his hand in hers for a second. "Thanks Flint. Sorry you know.. that I said all that stuff and yelled at you."

"It's okay. Beach is always reminding me I'm supposed to be the 'go-to' guy for the troops. Just doing my job and all that." He leaned in close to her. "And I worry about the big jerk too. But don't you tell him I said so. I swear.. he might be one of the best soldiers ever.. but he irks me worse than sand in my shorts some days."

"He makes a special effort with you." She smiled as he rolled his eyes.

"I knew it." He got to his feet. "I'll go get us some coffee.. what do you want? Something to eat maybe?"

"No.. could you get me a orange juice instead?"

"Sure thing." He walked out and CoverGirl waited for him to turn the corner down the hall before she jumped to her feet and began to pace. On the fourth pass a doctor finally emerged looking for her.

"Are you with Sergeant Sneeden?" He seemed a bit distracted.

"Yes.. Corporal Kreiger. Warrant officer Faireborn just left to get some coffee. How's Bee... ahh.. Sergeant major Sneeden? Is he okay?" She crossed her arms then uncrossed them and put her hands into her pockets.

"He'll be fine. Relatively uneventful surgery to remove the.. ahh.. stick. Your improvised chest tube probably saved his life. He had a small tear in that lung, in addition to the sucking chest wound causing issues. There was no shortage of jokes about removing the stick from his butt either." Suddenly the very somber surgeon smiled at her and showed his good humor. "It's rather apparent that some of the staff STILL remembers him from back when he was assigned here. I assume you need an updated report for your C.O.?"

She forced herself to keep her hands in her pockets. "Yes yes.. ahh.. report. Could.. could I go see him? He isn't awake is he? He doesn't like people around him when he's waking up.. you see."

"He's not awake.. and.." The surgeon peered at her. "You actually.. want.. to go back there? I mean.. want to?"

"Of course." She fidgeted under his stare. "He's my friend."

"How about that." The amused eyes looked her over. "Wouldn't have thought that I'd ever see the day." He took a breath and shook his head. "As long as you know what he's like... I guess it's fine."

She hesitated. "He doesn't like when he wakes up and there's strangers.. and he gets.. umm.. odd."

Now the medical officer gave her a rather condescending smile. "We treated Rangers before you ever met him. Trust me.. we're pretty aware of how badly they can react. We'll let him wake up and get him right in his head.. he's one that gets nauseous, right? We might have to listen to him throw up a couple of hours. He'll do fine."

"Okay.. " Before she could continue, there was a triple chime over the intercom and a page.

{ Doctor Bessette.. surgical floor immediately.. Doctor Bessette.. immediately }

The surgeon's head went up. "I have to go.." He paused at the door. "You know this has to be related to him.. you might as well come back.. will he listen to you?"

"Uhhhh.. maybe?" She followed after him as he departed at a fast walk. Through the doors and down several corridors, they finally heard the noise of crashing and yelling. She sped up to crowd the surgeon's heels. The loud crashing noises led them to the surgical recovery ward. CoverGirl was puzzled at the lack of cursing and shouting if it was indeed related to BeachHead.

"Watch it!! Watch out he has a I.V. pole!" Three orderlies came scattering out of a curtained off section. "Dr Bessette!! Your Ranger is awake!"

"So I hear." The totally out-of-place smile seemed to annoy the orderly. "What kind of shape is he in?"

Ducking as a metal can of tongue depressors came flying out, the orderly shook his head. "He's bleeding where he ripped out the I.V. line.. his chest tube is still in place.. he ripped out the breathing tube. I don't know how much damage he did to his throat.. but he hasn't got a voice right now. Makes a few noises.. and he's seeing stuff and fighting with anything within reach.. including inanimate objects like trays and containers." He glanced into the area as a loud crash sounded again. "He's currently losing a fight with the chair.. " He looked at the doctor. "And he's broken the left arm of Micheals and three of Jerrold's fingers."

"Well.. let's try to calm him down." Dr Bessette poked his head around the corner and then ducked away.

CoverGirl felt annoyed. "Why wasn't he restrained? I thought you said you guys knew how to deal with him! If he'd been in restraints, this wouldn't be happening.. he's going to hurt himself!"

The orderly frowned down at her. "We DID have the restraints on him. He snapped one and pulled the others off with his free hand. Jerrold tried to stop him from getting the other hand free and that's when he got the broken fingers."

Dr Bessette patted the orderly. "I should have specified.. we only use the heavy psychiatric restraints on Sneeden. The lightweight ones are merely an annoyance to him. Didn't you see his arms?"

"Well.. yeah.. but most people don't break them."

"Most people aren't Rangers.. you know how they train. Okay.. well Corporal, would you care to give it a try?" He looked down at CoverGirl. "Up to you, you certainly don't have to try, you'll probably get mauled if you try.."

"No, it's fine."

Right then there was an explosion of curtains and BeachHead tumbled out from between them, tangled with a chair and making the most irate squeaking noises possible. CoverGirl held back laughter and dodged to the side with everyone else as the Ranger righted himself and took off down the ward in a hospital gown at a run.

"Oh great.. now he's loose." The orderly picked himself up off the tiles and looked annoyed. "Should I just go get our traq gun? I'm pretty sure I can hit him, he's a decent size target."

CoverGirl stepped over to glare up at him. "You just leave him alone! You guys have him all in a panic and confused! If you knew a danged thing about patients that have issues with anesthesia, you'd have put him in proper restraints in a quiet corner somewhere!" She stalked down the room to where Beach had disappeared to.

When she reached the end, she found the group of nurses all huddled to the side. One elderly woman raised an eyebrow at CoverGirl and pointed at their side desk.

"I assume you're looking for the rather large distraught gentleman? He's hiding under the desk. We'd appreciate it if you'd remove him? It's nearly shift change and I have a lot of paperwork to get through." Her nonchalant attitude made CoverGirl wonder briefly just what sort of patients Rangers normally were.

"I'll give it a shot. Just be ready to duck." She came around the end of the desk and bent to peer underneath at the huddled form. "Hey... Beach? What are you doing under there?"

While his mouth moved plenty, the noises that emerged were indistinct squeaks. He sounded like the worst-ever case of laryngitis. From her previous experience with him after anesthesia, she figured it didn't make a lot of difference in understanding him anyway. His gesture up the hallway and fearful expression told her enough.

"No no.. those guys won't hurt you. They just want to help. Here.. come on out and go back to bed." She tried to smile at him while he scowled fiercely.

"Hnnk.. vers...erkner!" He shifted himself slightly out and glared over the desk at the nurses. Three of them detached from the group to leave. The older one merely raised an eyebrow. "Ber.. urk.."

Covergirl restrained herself from laughing with an effort. It wasn't funny to think he'd done enough injury to his throat to lose his voice nearly entirely. But the fact that the tough Ranger was peeping like a baby chicken was nearly too much for her to handle. She reached down and cupped her hand around his elbow and dragged him out from under the desk, ignoring his squeaking protests. "Yes.. bed. You'll like it.. warm.. covers.."

"..nrk.. 'ourt-nee.." His efforts finally produced something almost recognizable as her name.

She beamed at him. "Yes.. Courtney.. yes, I'll take you back to bed. No worries." With more coaxing, she got him to his feet and headed sort of in the direction of his bed. Halfway down the ward, he stalled out and tried his darnedest to yell at a chair. When he progressed to kicking it, she struggled to get him pushed away from it. "Stop that! Beach!" Firming her voice to the stern tone Lifeline used on him when he was in this state last, she pointed down the room. "Get back there! Leave that chair alone!" He ignored her to boot at it again and she twisted and grabbed the chair and tipped it over onto it's side. "There! Bad chair! Now it's dead.. go back to bed!"

His soft satisfied squeaks continued all the way back. Dr Bessette stopped her as BeachHead wandered back into the curtained alcove.

"Do you think we could get restraints back onto him? I don't want to bring them in if he's going to freak out." The surgeon seemed a bit uncertain.

She shook her head. "He's not a fan of being tied down, I'd leave it off." There was a new round of crashes and clangs from Beach's area. She strode up and ducked as an unidentified part of some piece of former furniture went sailing over her head. "BEACH! STOP IT!"

She looked in at the panting Ranger, he'd managed to get the hospital gown half off. The half bare chest was already streaked with blood from his forearm. At least the I.V. site didn't seem to be bleeding much. His wild eyes darted from her to the overturned chair next to the recovery bed. She did note the single restraint cuff still attached to a wrist with it's dangling strap.

"Beach.. look at me." She tried very hard to sound calm and stern, copying how Lifeline dealt with the unstable man after surgery the last time. "Stop this thrashing around.. you understand? Nod your head.."

He glared harder but his gaze wandered away. His mouth worked for a few seconds and he coughed and tried again, squeaking out a few noises before coughing again.

"See? You hurt your voice. Come on.. I'll get you something to drink.. make it feel better." She pointed at the bed and he looked at it then narrowed his eyes to kick the mangled chair hard. "Don't kick it.." She sighed and took a few slow steps over towards the chair. "Look.. I'll get rid of the mean chair.."

He tried to yell at her and pretty much failed to sound like anything but a chew toy that Junkyard had over-chewed. "..hur.. tch.."

"It's okay.. stop it.. it's fine." She reached for the chair and he made a very credible grab for her arm to yank her off her feet and across the room away from it. Then he kicked the chair again while she was getting back up. "Beach.. I swear." She reached to take his arm firmly. "You need to get back into bed. No.. leave the chair alone."

"Bad.. htch.. kur.. " His earnest attempts to warn her about the evil nature of the furniture was almost endearing. Beach gently patted her arm a few times, checking the mottled bruises carefully.

"I'm okay.. see? Just a few bruises. That's from the whole falling and nearly dying earlier today. When you saved me, remember?" She nudged him towards the bed but he stopped and backed up again. "Hey guys.. someone come take the chair out of here.. slowly."

Dr Bessette stepped in and Beach screamed at him.. or attempted to. The noise that actually emerged was a tiny squeak that sounded horribly like a small baby chicken peeping. CoverGirl had to bite her lip hard to keep from laughing. As the chair was removed and the Doctor with it, Beach quieted again.

"See? Now the chair is gone. You get into bed.. I'll get you some water.. how's that for a deal?" She motioned towards the narrow bed and he dug in his heels again. "Come on.. there's no chair now." He shook his head again and suddenly wobbled and sat down on the tile floor with a look of surprise. "It's okay.. I'll help you up.."

It pulled all the sore spots and bruises to get him to his feet but she managed. Every step he took seemed to take more energy out of him until he was half asleep at the bedside. "Into the bed.. come on Beach.. up.." She tugged the tangled covers straight and tossed them over him. "See? Isn't that better? Leggo my arm now.."

"Nuh.. erk." Eyes only half open, he still managed to cling to her arm. She settled on the edge of the bed and let him tuck himself into her side. Soft contented noises emerged from the sleepy figure and she stroked her fingers through his tangled hair a few times.

"Sure.. you're fine.. see? Just rest.. try not to puke on me.." As he seemed to fall asleep, she lifted her face to see Dr Bessette poking his head in. "He's okay.. he pulled out the I.V. though. You'll have to put one in again."

"Alright.. you keep him quiet and I'll get one in. If I can get some sedatives into him, I can keep him in twilight sedation so he won't get so nauseous." The amused surgeon sent in a very nervous intern who carefully inserted a new I.V. needle without getting any reaction. Once he'd hooked up the bag of fluids, he injected new meds and left quietly. After a few minutes the surgeon came back.

He looked the sleeping Ranger over. "I'm going to hook up the sensors again.. were they still stuck in place?" She nodded and he hunted down the wire leads, tugging the end of one free from under his body. "Okay.." Tapping the controls on the machine, he muted the sound before he turned it on. "Looks good. The meds will keep him sleepy but he might wake up occasionally too. Hopefully it'll keep him from being too ill. Let me check his side.."

CoverGirl patted Beach gently as he groaned when the surgeon began to tug the covers and gown around to check the stitched incision. "Easy Beach.. you're fine.."

"Why do you call him 'Beach' instead of Sneeden?" The innocent question made her swallow.

"Uhh.. nickname.. because.. because I'm not allowed to call him 'bitch'." She looked at the suspicious eyes as they lifted to stare at her.

"Really." The disbelief in his voice was so evident that she felt her cheeks grow hot.

"No." She gave him an even look back without elaborating and he gave a slight nod.

"Alright then. You try to keep him calm. Do you want anything?" There was a soft snore from the curled up Ranger and he smiled at him. "Anything for you or him?"

"A bottle of water for him but Warrant officer Faireborn is bringing me orange juice for me. Maybe a cold pack later for him." She continued to toy with Beach's hair and twisted herself to lay back against the raised head of the bed.

He took time to get to BeachHead's side and check the chest tube carefully. "Keep him off this side.. if his breathing gets worse call for help immediately." With a few minutes and several reassurances to the half-asleep Ranger, the doctor looked quite satisfied. "Much better. I should transfer you to here to help with all my Ranger patients."

"I'm pretty sure it only works with this particular one, sorry."

He shrugged and left. She let her hand rest on Beach's head gently and listened to him cough softly in his drugged sleep. "Just sleep.. you'll feel better later Beach. You're such a trial."

"Trial is right." Flint peered around the curtain and held up a bottle of orange juice. "You still want this?" His voice was soft but she shushed at him anyway. "I know.. don't wake the rampaging Ranger. They're still clearing up the wreckage out here."

"Well if they'd restrained him properly to begin with, it wouldn't have happened. He ripped out his breathing tube Flint. He can't even talk." She pressed her lips together and petted the sleeping man a few times absently as he muttered. "Shhh... it's just Flint." His eyes flicked open to peer at the warrant officer.

"..nerk.. eent.." He lost the battle to keep his eyes open and coughed again as he fell back asleep.

Flint twisted his lips for a second and then looked at CoverGirl. "Did Sergeant Hardass just cheep at me?"

She scowled. "I think he was calling you a jerk. And if you try to tease him about this when he's sober and awake, I will ignore all regulations prohibiting it to kick you in the nads so hard, all your children will be born female. Understand?"

"Yeah.. got it. I'll remind you about the whole rank thing again later on."

"You do just that."

* * * *

End Chapter

Ahh.. BeachHead hallucinating.. always good for a laugh. Note: If my friend who acts this way waking up from surgery EVER reads this, I'm doomed.. so ya'll got my back.. right? Secon Note: DON'T ever pull out your breathing tube after surgery no matter how good an idea it seems at the time.. it really sucks.

Next chapter will be up soon!


	3. Chapter 3:Grumpy Ranger

Chap 3

Annnd the saga of BeachHead in the Fort Benning hospital continues. Luckily for Beach, Benning is the home of the US Army Rangers.. so the hospital is used to dealing with them as patients. Nicely long chapter for you... heh heh...

Now he's awake fully.... and the mystery(ha, yeah like you don't ALL know who it is!) guest arrives!

* * * *

"I don't wan.. erk..snert.. " BeachHead cleared his throat again. "Don't need to stay in hock.. urk.." He began to cough and tried glaring at CoverGirl to convey his displeasure.

"I know, you don't WANT to stay in bed and heal. Dr Bessette said a couple days to make sure your lung is okay, then you can leave. You'll STILL be on medical leave back at.." She shut up at his warning look. "Back at the base. They won't let you leave with a chest tube dangling out of your guts."

"I'll take care a that in terk urrrg.." She watched him try to curse loudly as his voice went out again.

"If you yank out that tube, I swear.." She pointed as he rummaged under the blanket next to his side. "BEACH! I swear to god! I'll have Doc put you on medical leave for a DAMNED MONTH! You just TRY me!" His jaw clenched but he stopped trying to find the annoying tube. "Just LIE THERE! It's NOT that hard to just lie there and be still."

"I don't wan.. erk.." This time he grabbed the closest object, which happened to be a half empty water cup, and flung it across the room. "Ungh.. erk erk!"

She crossed her arms. "The doctor is coming to look at your throat. If you'd stop trying to yell, it would probably feel better." The glare should by all rights have incinerated her on the spot. "Stop acting like this is MY fault! I didn't want you to get hurt!"

"I got hurt savin.. erk.." His voice disappeared again.

"Yeah.. so its all my fault! I guess I'll have to get reminded several times a day that you had to save me! Thanks Beach! Thanks a lot! Gee, how stupid of me to get kicked out of a plane without a chute! I was just some dumb stupid blond who didn't know enough to not stay in the plane!" Her own voice had risen until she was nearly shouting at him.

He raised his hands in apology. "Not what I.. " He began to cough. "Not.. " Swallowed twice. "Yer..." Another cough. "Fault."

"You're danged RIGHT it's not my fault! I didn't CHOSE to nearly die! And lest the big bad Ranger forgets.. I dragged your butt out of the woods too! I'm not a helpless waif who doesn't know to come in out of the rain!" He shook his head. "Oh.. NOW you'll be quiet.

"Don't know urk.. wha.. say.." He sighed heavily as his voice left again. Raising a hand up, he made a fist and rubbed it in circles on his chest repeatedly. *I'm sorry I'm sorry.*

She relented. "I know you're hurting and you hate to be laid up, Beach. But please stop attacking me over it. You can complain ALL you want.. but it's not my fault you're in here. Just remember that." He nodded. "Good. You really scared me bad out there. I was starting to wonder if a stick was gonna take down the renowned Sergeant Major Sneeden after all."

"Never happ'..." He cleared his throat and looked for his water.

"You threw the water across the room. Do you want more now?" Her displeased tone went unnoticed as he nodded at her. "Geez.. you're such a pain. I'll go get you some ice water.. but don't DO anything you're not supposed to do. Got it?" He nodded solemnly. "I'm gonna trust that when I come back, you'll still be in bed, with all wires and tubes attached.. got it?" Looked more sulky, he nodded again. "Alright... I'll be right back."

Striding down the hallway, she met the doctor on his rounds. He smiled pleasantly at her.

"Ahh.. Kreiger.. right? How's the ornery Ranger doing?"

"Ornery. What else is new? His voice isn't any better yet.. but I think the vomiting didn't help it any either."

"Hmm.. yes. I kind of hoped we could avoid having him throw up at all, but he's just bound and determined to vomit after every surgery. I'm beginning to think that he'll just work himself TO vomit each time. Anyway.. there's someone coming to have a look at his throat. Try to keep him from screaming.. or trying to scream.. as best you can anyway. Give him some crushed ice and water. If he's does well, we'll give him some soup and such for his dinner tonight." Dr Bessette wandered to the next bay, trailed by the half dozen students. She hadn't really known the place was a military training hospital and hoped that BeachHead would be asleep when they got to him.

* * * *

As she got off the elevator to head for the cafeteria, she saw Flint waiting for a elevator to go up. "Fliin.., ahem.. Warrant Officer Faireborn." He looked startled as she walked over and she had to smile. "I know.. every time I hear someone yell "Kreiger, I think 'busted!' You headed up to see Beach?"

"Yeah. He awake and non-pukey yet?"

"Yes, he's awake and grumpy and his head hurts. He'll try to tell you himself but.. well. his voice is still gone. Don't taunt him about it and make him yell either." She watched Flint grin at her. "Okaaay.. don't taunt him TOO MUCH about it. Fair?"

"Absolutely fair." He glanced at the blinking numbers over the elevator doors. "You going to get lunch?"

"I wasn't going to.. I was fetching him ice and water. You want to come grab it and take it up to him? I'm starving now that you mention it." She led the way into the spacious messhall. Flint got the cup of crushed ice and a bottle of water before sighing at her. "Look, you're taking him something he wants. He'll have to less disgruntled. Besides.. the doctor was headed to him with a bevy of student doctors behind him. Maybe Beach will concentrate on them so much, he'll forget to be ornery at you."

"Fat chance. At least I might make it up in time to see him reduce at least one student to tears though." Looking a bit more cheerful over that prospect, he walked out with the cup.

CoverGirl stood in line and waited her turn patiently. The meal wasn't up to the Pit's standards.. but it wasn't horrible either. She ate quickly and headed back upstairs with half a bottle of juice for herself and a new cup of ice for the Ranger, figuring he'd either have eaten it all or thrown it at someone by the time she got back.

When she reached the ward she found three students comforting a fourth one who was weeping in the corner. The nurses station only had two nurses sitting there and she stopped when one beckoned at her with a finger. "Your friend broke one of the intern's ring finger."

She raised her eyebrows. "Really? One of the students?"

"Yes. Not entirely his fault.. the student grabbed his wrist to take a pulse rate before making sure he was awake." The disapproving look the experienced nurse wore was all for the intern instead of the errant patient this time. "They have to learn sometime. Bet he doesn't forget his lesson any time soon."

CoverGirl looked down at the tiny group. "Why isn't she down in the ER?"

"Oh her? No no.. he broke the finger on Randalls.. that one he just berated.. as best he could while losing his voice. I'm not sure what over.. because he kept fading in and out, but it was a doozey of a rant." The nurse looked highly satisfied. "Rangers are the worst patients ever. Give me a marine any day."

"I hear ya sister." CoverGirl hefted her ice cup. "Bringing him tribute so he'll yell less."

"Good idea."

Entering the Ranger's bed area, she found Flint lounging in the rather battered chair that had been returned at some point. BeachHead was glaring at a piece of wall and ignoring the warrant officer.

She put on a smile. "Hey.. brought you more ice."

He turned the glare on her and gestured awkwardly with ASL signs. *Food good*

"Yes, I know you must be hungry, but you'll get liquids tonight. Probably soup." She set the cup down on his tray and watched him hitch himself further up towards the head of the bed to sit up straighter. "Maybe later this afternoon they'll let you have something to drink, now that you're not throwing it all back up."

He thought about it a few seconds before he signed again. Despite being able to understand SnakeEyes' ASL signs easily, he'd never been very good at using them himself, preferring to bellow things at people instead. *Hungry now wait no* Flint snickered at him and Beach turned the glare to him. "Shut.. erk.. up!"

Flint raised a finger up. "You're not supposed to talk."

Beach snarled at him and reached to grab the ice cup as CoverGirl snatched it adroitly out of his reach. "Hey! You can throw it at Flint OR you can have it to eat. I'm not about to traipse all the way back downstairs to get you another one."

Holding out his hand for it anyway, he took it and set it back onto the tray looking angrier than before. *Pain* He pointed carefully at Flint then waved his hand around in general. Thinking for a moment he came up with her name sign, making the gesture for face and woman at the same time in a sly combined way that SnakeEye's had invented. *CoverGirl pain no thank you*

"Was that 'no thank you' or I'm not a pain and thank you?" She smiled in amusement as he gave her the finger. "Well you're welcome anyway."

Flint grinned. "You did miss out on the sheer entertainment of Beach here messing up the interns." He gestured grandly. "He made one cry and broke the hand of another one. I missed the hand breaking."

Beach croaked at him. "Only finger.."

Flint nodded agreeably. "Okay.. he only broke the guy's finger. I didn't get to see that, but I WAS here for the crying. That was awesome. He could only get one word in three out properly.. and he had no volume at all.. and still made her burst into tears. Awe. Some." He grinned as Beach snorted. "I love to see him break OTHER people for a change. Oh.. and Duke is coming up."

"Duke?" CoverGirl turned briefly to the Ranger when he snorted again, but he merely looked aside rather than say anything. "What's Duke coming by for? Just to check on BeachHead?"

"No." Flint was choking back laughter. "That doctor has this misguided belief that Duke.. will somehow control BeachHead and make him behave." He let out the laughs finally. BeachHead managed to reach to the work station to grab a box of kleenex and hit Flint with that. "Ow.. stop throwing junk at me."

"He'd probably throw less things at you if you stopped tormenting him." CoverGirl watched as BeachHead nodded and touched his nose and pointed at her. "See?"

"But it's more fun to torment him.. he can't yell.. it's the BEST time to torment him!" Flint scrambled out of the chair as BeachHead raised up to come off the bed after him. "Whoa!! You have to stay in bed!"

There was another snarl but the Ranger stayed in the bed. CoverGirl walked over to stand in front of Flint. "Look. That's quite enough. You can't just pick at him."

Beach's ruined voice spoke up from behind her. "Yeah." He started coughing.

She pointed at him. "You keep making him try to yell, he's going to do more damage to his throat. So stop it."

Flint crossed his arms and smirked. "He's chooses to try to yell. That's not on me if he doesn't listen to his doctor's orders."

A unfamiliar voice from the entry point made CoverGirl turn and stare. "Picking on someone who is laid up in a hospital bed is a sign of a insecure bully." Flint opened his mouth to retort angrily before he caught sight of the short older civilian-dressed woman standing there. "Hello, Wayne.. I see you've managed to get into even more trouble."

Grinning at the strange woman, BeachHead croaked painfully. "Aunt Beth.. urk.." He raised his hands to sign. *When you here*

"I just arrived. I drove down as soon as I heard you'd been hurt badly enough to lay you up." She scowled at Flint who looked distinctly nervous. "I did _not_ expect that I would find someone being cruel to one of his soldiers under his command while they were laid up injured after doing something rather heroic." She lifted an eyebrow that somehow spoke more than her mere words.

Flint took a deep breath and shifted his weight around. "Well.. it's not like that.. I was.. uhh.. just..."

"Tormenting Wayne when he can't even tell you to stop without causing himself more pain?" Her arch words made him flinch, while Beach looked positively gleeful. "How very very.. kind of you." The sarcasm dripped from the words.

"I'm sorry?" Flint watched her nod at BeachHead and sighed. He turned to BeachHead and rolled his eyes. "I'm sorry I was bugging you."

Aunt Beth nodded once decisively. "That's better. Now.." She stepped over to bend and give the injured Ranger a quick hug. "How are you really, Wayne? And no talking.. your voice doesn't sound like you should be talking."

He signed while sighing at her. *Good me out now doctor bad head* She blinked and CoverGirl cleared her throat.

"He's saying that he's perfectly fine, while he's not.. and that the doctor doesn't know what he's doing.. which he does." She tilted her head as Beach frowned at her. "He's just impatient to get out of here." Beach nodded to that.

Aunt Beth sighed at him. "If you are still _in_ the hospital bed, then you're not fine. How badly are you hurt _this_ time?"

He started to gesture then simply pointed at CoverGirl. *Talk* Then he rubbed his throat and got his cup of ice to chew at a piece.

CoverGirl sighed at him. "He's got a punctured lung, various gashes here and there. Nothing too horrible if he stays in bed and lets the lung heal. His throat is all torn up inside from him ripping out the breathing tube when he woke up." She turned to the older woman. "How did you know he was hurt?"

"Oh.. a little bird told me." Aunt Beth smiled as BeachHead snorted loudly.

*SnakeEyes Scarlett* He looked disgusted and made a talky motion with one hand.

Flint humphed. "I don't know that they should be gossiping to non-team members about the whereabouts of injured people." He settled when the woman turned to give him a look. "Sorry, but it's a security risk."

She fished into her purse and held up a card for him to look at. He looked a bit surprised. "My clearance.. would you care to repeat the security risk part of your statement?" He shook his head. "Why don't you go make yourself useful, Granite? You could bring some tea up to drink."

"My name is Warrant officer Faireborn. And he can't have anything but water or ice." Flint crossed his arms and tried to look like a capable adult rather than the small boy this strange woman was quickly reducing him to.

"Then you can bring me a cup of tea instead." She shooed him aside to take his vacated chair. Turning her attention to CoverGirl she ignored Flint. "So tell me what you can of how this all happened." Flint threw his hands up and left and Beachhead did his best to laugh, making a raucous coughing croak. "Hush you. Did the doctor tell you not to talk?" He nodded while not looking at all abashed.

"Yeah.." He coughed and grinned as she leveled a finger at him.

"Wayne.. don't make me pull a spoon out." He held up his hands in mock surrender and gestured at CoverGirl. "Yes.. I'm terribly sorry, where are my manners?" She held one hand out to the tank jockey. "I'm Beth O'Hara.. Aunt Beth please. You must be Courtney.. and you're even more lovely than the picture you sent."

"Umm.. hello. Nice to meet you." Beach made a rolling gesture with his hands. "Oh.. how it happened.. hmm." She sat on the edge of BeachHead's bed. "We were doing a training jump over the north edge of Benning.. and hmm.. there was a.. a terrorist hiding on board. Once everyone had jumped, except Beach.. he took a hostage and then kicked me so I fell out. I didn't have a chute on, I wasn't supposed to be jumping. Beach jumped out after me and saved me. We landed in some trees and that's how he got injured. I dragged him to some Ranger trainees who got us a chopper ride to the hospital. I think that's about it. Other than when he woke up, Beach caused a huge ruckus and ripped out the breathing tube and wrecked half the ward."

"No half.." Beach protested.

"Shush you, you're not supposed to talk. Anyway.." CoverGirl turned back to the kindly lady. "He sort of did save me.. and the hostage I guess, and killed the bad guy."

"Sort of?!" Clutching his throat after the outburst, Beach took a few seconds to get ice down his abused throat. *Save you much big save Jaye much big*

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, big hero. He saved me and our teammate from certain death and he's overly smug about it too. He does gloss over the fact that I did save his sorry butt by dragging it out of the woods to help.. plus I put in a chest tube that kept him able to breathe." He snorted and she shook a finger at him. "Don't talk."

Aunt Beth nodded at her. "Well, it does sound very brave.. jumping out of a plane to save you. But I couldn't imagine having to do a chest tube in the woods without proper medical help and then managing to move someone his size a long ways for help. You're very much a hero also."

She smirked at the laid-up sergeant. "See?" She sighed at the face he made. "I am grateful that you saved me Beach. Really." He nodded and shrugged at her. "Don't let Flint get to you.. you know he's just yanking your chain."

He nodded and then straightened in bed as Duke appeared looking harried. He gave a salute while CoverGirl scrambled up to her feet to do the same.

Duke looked mildly annoyed and snapped at them both. "As you were. Beach.. stop being a pain to the doctors here. Do what they tell you to do and don't go causing trouble. As soon as they release you, you can go home to finish healing up. Until then be good. CoverGirl.. don't yell at Flint, it hurts his feelings and he comes and bugs me. And just who are you and why are you back in the restricted area with my wounded Sergeant major and his overly loyal friend here?"

Aunt Beth gave him a disarming smile. "I'm Beth O'Hara." She offered a hand which Duke took automatically in a polite clasp.

"O'Hara.. like Scarlett's.. oh.. _Aunt_ Beth?" Duke suddenly grinned. "You make the best cookies ever. I missed out on the second box from whoever that was.. but yours were absolutely the best I ever tasted."

She nodded graciously. "You are too kind. I just wanted to send Wayne here something to show him we care. When I heard he'd been injured, I wanted to come check on him."

Duke looked perturbed. "Well.. yes.." His eyes cut over to glance at the Sergeant major. "Yes, well 'Wayne' here is going to get himself into more trouble than he wants to think about if he doesn't straighten up. The words 'full medical leave' have been uttered." BeachHead made a face. "Don't think we won't do it. I will not be embarrassed on Fort Benning by you."

CoverGirl protested. "Duke.. he can't help how he acts when he wakes up from anesthesia! He's hallucinating and they should have known how to handle that!"

Duke raised an eyebrow and she quieted. "That is excusable. There haven't been complaints about that.. it's his behavior _after_ he's awake and aware that garner all the complaints." Beach ducked his head. "So I'm not going to get any more complaints, am I?" A sheepish head shake. "Good. And.." Duke scowled at him. "You did a good job of taking that guy down. I'm also glad you managed to save our best tank jockey here too.. even if she does mouth off too much."

Beach nodded. "Muh pleas-urk."

Duke shook his head. "No wonder Flint was up here to poke at you. No voice?" Beach shook his head. "Well, good thing you know sign. Rest up and try to stay out of everyone's hair. They'll let you go as soon as possible." He turned to give Aunt Beth a polite nod. "Nice to meet you ma'am." Turning to CoverGirl. "Keep him out of trouble.. and please.. don't make anyone rub the whole 'frat rules' in my face?"

She blushed hard and shook her head. "Of course not. Nothing happened! I mean.."

"I don't want to know. Understand?" The significant look made her blush even deeper and she nodded at him. "Good. I have fifty different forms to fill out and at least ten officers to go explain how my Sergeant major and corporal managed to drop in on a Ranger training session without warning.. and repeat myself that yes, they do indeed have to give you both back to me."

CoverGirl looked almost as startled as BeachHead. She burst out. "We're not like.. under arrest or something??"

Duke smirked. "No. They want both of you to transfer to Benning. Seems they want Sergeant Hardass back as one of the cadre instructors.. and they'd really like to have the gorgeous lady with all the heavy vehicle qualifications as well, especially since she can ride herd on injured Rangers without flinching after dragging them out of the woods." He shrugged. "Don't worry.. I'm not letting them keep either of you.. unless they offer some really good candidates in trade of course." The twinkle in his eye reassured CoverGirl but just made BeachHead snort derisively. "Stay out of trouble." With that, Duke turned on his heel and left.

Aunt Beth took a deep breath. "My.. that was quick. Is that one of your C.O.s?" At CoverGirl's nod she shook her head. "He seems like the sort that would capable of keeping all of you in line. You'd think he had to do this sort of thing all the time."

CoverGirl smiled. "He does. He's good at it because he gets a lot of practice dragging us out of trouble." Beach snorted and she pointed at him. "Do I need to mention your ill-fated trip to town?"

He shook his head. *Please no*

Settling back on the edge of the bed, CoverGirl twisted her hair out of the way and tugged her fatigue shirt straighter. The regular Army fatigues felt odd on her now. "I can't believe you came all this way to check on Beach here."

Aunt Beth gave her a gentle smile. "Of course I would. I care about Wayne. If it were SnakeEyes or Shana I'd come visit too. Seth came with me.. he should be coming up in just a few minutes. He stopped to get a bite to eat since I didn't let him stop for lunch. Youngsters.. they do need to eat on a regular basis."

CoverGirl smiled. "Yes well.. Beach does better when he gets regular meals too. He gets very grumpy if he gets hungry."

BeachHead snorted at her before turning his attention to Aunt Beth. "Seth here?"

She pointed. "No talking." He rolled his eyes at her. "Use sign language, there's no good reason to keep hurting yourself if you have the alternative. And yes, Seth is here too. My car is acting up so I asked him to drive me down in his truck."

He pointed at CoverGirl. *No see* At the puzzled look he repeated the signs. *No see CoverGirl S.E.T.H. Bad*

Aunt Beth snorted. "Seth will behave, Courtney doesn't need to hide so he won't see her."

Looking from one to the other, the tank jockey seemed confused. "Why should I hide from this Seth? Who is he?"

Beach clicked his tongue. *Seth Scarlett brother bad young man*

"Seth isn't a bad young man.. he's quite a good kid."

*Bad young man all young man bad CoverGirl no see*

"Wayne.. settle down. Seth is fine." She gave CoverGirl a exasperated look. "I think that he's afraid Seth will be enamored of you when he sees you, because you are quite beautiful. Seth is young.. but he does have manners."

Turning a look of pure amusement onto the hapless Ranger, CoverGirl wriggled slightly. "Aww. Beach.. you're all jealous. Don't worry, I can take care of myself."

*Fall plane not* He looked rather sulky and she frowned at him and he sighed and signed *I'm sorry* a few times to appease her.

"You just relax." She turned as a couple voices came into their hearing.

"You know BeachHead? Cool.. umm.. are you Courtney?" Seth sounded slightly disappointed until LadyJaye's laugh came.

"Me? No.. I'm ahh.. you can call me Jaye. I'm not sure where Courtney is, I expect she's somewhere close by." The lean brown-haired woman poked her head around the end of the curtain. "Knock knock.. can I come in?"

Beach grunted at her. *No.*

"Oh good.. it's great to see you again too Beach." Jaye walked in and waved her companion in as well. "This young guy says he's visiting too. Umm.. Seth? Right?"

Seth nodded and cautiously looked at BeachHead sitting up in bed. "Yeah, Seth. Hi BeachHead. Whew. I thought you might be all gory and stuff. You don't look bad at all."

Beach rolled his eyes and looked at Aunt Beth. It was CoverGirl who answered however.

"No.. they bandaged up all the gory parts. I feel a little bad, since I'm the one who poked the hole in his side to let out all the foamy blood and air. It was kind of neat how it oozed out every time he breathed though." She grinned as he turned greenish. "Hi. I'm Courtney." Beach bumped her rear with his leg. "Nice to meet you Seth." He kicked her again. "What? Geez.."

*No talk S.E.T.H.* He grimaced as she poked his leg, rubbing at the spot. *Pain*

"Sorry. I'll talk to Seth if I want to. You can't tell me what to do.. especially since you can't talk." She smirked at him.

Seth tore his eyes away from her to look at the laid-up Ranger. "You can't talk?"

CoverGirl smiled sweetly. "Yes, Mr Ornery here decided to go ahead and remove his breathing tube all my his lonesome without medical help.. tore his throat up so he's not talking until it heals some. Right Beach?"

LadyJaye shook her head. "Oh terrific.. that's gonna put him into a _great_ mood."

BeachHead snorted at her and downed the last of his ice, crunching it and glaring at Seth who was oblivious since he was carefully not-staring at CoverGirl. *Food good*

CoverGirl patted his leg under the covers. "No, you still can't have food yet."

Jaye sighed at him. "I wish I could bring you something Beach.. I do. But the nurses would just take it before I could get it in here. I wanted to come see how you were.. and apologize if Flint came and bugged you too much."

He pointed at her and made the 'okay' sign before spreading his hands in query.

Her hand went to her hair and she shrugged. "Oh I'm fine. You gave me a tad bit of a hair trimming.. but hey, better a little lost hair than a bullet in my side, right? Thanks man, I owe you."

Seth looked at her then at BeachHead. "He cut your hair?"

Beach mimed pointing a gun at Seth and grinned. *Shot hair good*

"He shot your hair?" Now the young man looked downright disturbed. "Why would he shoot your hair? I know he's crazy but dang.."

Jaye shook her head. "He shot a terrorist who had a gun to my side.. the bullet just missed my head and took the guy out. Neat as a pin. But it was darned close, the bullet went through my hair it was so close. Then he jumped out of the plane just so I wouldn't be able to thank him." She grinned as Beach rolled his eyes.

*Jump CoverGirl good left Flint plane* His limited ability to sign was frustrating him a bit.

CoverGirl took pity on him. "He jumped out to save me, Seth.. I was falling with no parachute, he's just making a joke that he jumped because Flint was on the plane and he wanted to get away from Flint. They don't get along all that well." Beach rattled his empty cup at her and held it out signing 'please'. "Oh come on.. seriously? Alright.. I'm going to go get you another cup.. but ONLY because you didn't throw this one at anyone. Got it?" He nodded at her. "I'll be right back.. I have to go on yet another ice run. I wish they had ice available somewhere up here." She got up to go and Seth jumped.

He shifted his weight, obviously trying to gauge BeachHead's reaction to the reward of her presence. "Hey.. I'll go with you." He looked nervously at the Ranger who scowled at him. "Let's go now.."

CoverGirl agreed and cast one very amused glance at Beach as she exited past the curtain with her admirer.

LadyJaye chuckled softly and took a seat on the foot of the bed. "Don't worry.. she can handle Seth. He'll follow her like a puppy. Besides, compared to Ship or Clutch, he's just a minor tagalong." She got a thump from a blanket covered foot. "Hey.. cut it out.. I came to visit, didn't I?" He nodded but continued to scowl. "So don't be kicking me."

He grunted at her and Aunt Beth cleared her throat. He pointed at her then at Jaye and spread his hands.

Jaye smiled and held out a hand. "You can call me Jaye.. "

Smiling at her, she took the hand. "Please call me Aunt Beth, everyone does."

"Oh! You're the cookie lady."

"I fear to think what would happen if I were to send cake out." She smiled. "Yes, Wayne told me the cookies were well-received. I'm glad."

"Well that.. and your letters. Not that we get to read them, Beach guards them like a jealous rottweiler with a meaty bone. But I know he likes them a lot. He gets downright perky when he gets one." She was thumped again with his foot. "Well, you do. It's good to see you in a better mood lately. More like the 'old Beach' I used to know." He snorted.

Aunt Beth looked curious. "Old Beach'? You mean there was a time when he wasn't as ornery as he is now?"

Ignoring another kick to her rear, Jaye nodded. "Oh yeah.. Beach used to hang out in the rec hall and play chess or cards once in a while, or at least sit and read one of those dry books on tactics.. then he quit. Just turned kind of bitter and angry. What did happen, Beach? Why'd you get that way? Was it something someone did?"

He shook his head and waved her off. She poked his leg and he sighed at her and pointed at his nose then at her. "What? Because you smelled? You smelled before and that never stopped you from hanging out with us."

He snorted loudly. "Nosy not smelly.." He started to cough and laid his head back trying to swallow to sooth the irritated throat.

"Okay so I'm nosy.. it's just because I'm your friend. I didn't like when you got all withdrawn and started acting like a jerk. I just never had a real chance to ask you what happened."

He looked away and after a second he shook his head.

LadyJaye gave his leg another pat. "Well, we're all happy he's around. No matter how ornery he gets or how bad he smells, he's still a part of the team."

Beach made a face at her. *Go bring food*

"I'm not bringing you food! Geez.. you have a one-track mind, Beach!" He rubbed his stomach and gave her a pitiful look. "Yes, you're starving.. I happen to know you've gone nearly a week without food before and walked out complaining."

He tilted over in the bed, holding his abdomen theatrically for her.

"No. No way. No food. Tell your doctor because I'm not listening." Jaye shook her head when he sat up and scowled at her. "Sorry bub. Those big brown eyes don't work on me."

He rolled his eyes and then looked over to roll them again when Flint came in holding a styrofoam cup of steaming tea.

"Miss Beth.. your tea." Flint carefully handed it over and then reached to stroke a hand down Jaye's arm. BeachHead snapped his fingers loudly and pointed at his hand to shake a finger at him. "Oh give over Beach. I'm not sucking face with her in front of you." When Beach grasped at a nearby plastic container, Flint dodged around to snatch it out of reach. "No.. stop throwing stuff at me." He returned to stand beside LadyJaye. "And don't start that ridiculous peeping either."

The gesture Beach used wasn't strictly speaking ASL but was pretty universally recognized. Aunt Beth cleared her throat. "Wayne.. really."

*I'm sorry.* Beach groaned and pointed around the room at each of them. *I'm sorry* *I'm sorry* *I'm sorry* *I'm sorry* Then he spread his hands out at her. *Happy*

"Oh, just peachy. You need to settle down and stop acting like a spoiled child." Her sharp words made him fold his arms and snort.

Flint shook his head. "Oh for Beach, he's behaving awfully well. He's still in the bed for instance. Usually by now we're tracking him down somewhere outside. Speaking of.. why don't they put the restraints back on you?"

Beach's gaze narrowed as he glared. "Try it." He rolled his eyes at the chorus of 'don't talk' that came from everyone. He shifted onto his side a bit and ignored them.

"Wayne, I think you could be patient for a day or two until you heal enough to leave. It can't be that bad." He coughed slightly and nodded at her. "When you catch a cold you have to lay around for a couple days, this is no different."

He snorted loudly at her and then coughed a few times while Jaye laughed. "Beach doesn't take to his bed with a cold. No no.."

Flint gave a wry smile. "Yeah, his theory is that if he's miserable, everyone should be miserable. He just puts all of us through hell for PT until he feels better. We just count ourselves lucky he wears a mask anyway so we don't catch whatever he has."

Beach slid down some to cough worse and Flint rolled his eyes. "And now he'll try for sympathy.. yes Beach we all get it.. you're injured and we're picking on you." The Ranger closed his eyes as the coughing got softer. "Hey.. you okay?" Jaye got up to look at him closer as an alarm began to sound on the machine. "Dude! What's wrong?"

Jaye pointed out. "Flint get a doctor.. Beach.. hey.. look at me.. what's wrong?" His chest labored for each shallow breath and he tried to fumble at his side. "Is it your chest tube?" He nodded and she stripped the covers aside to check it. "It's not open.. hang on.." She untwisted it and watched his lips continue to turn blue.

* * * *

End Chapter

Oooooooooooo! A cliff-hanger!


	4. Chapter 4: Ranger Keeping 101

Chap4

Sorry for the cliff-hanger.. occasionally I must indulge myself at your expense. Here's the final chapter.

* * * *

"Wayne.. hang on.." Aunt Beth put a calming hand on his forehead. "Just try to breath in slowly.."

One of the interns rushed in and sized up the situation. "Move.." He pushed Jaye aside. "What were you doing to his chest tube?" He checked the monitor and then put the head of the bed down, planting a hand into the center of BeachHead's chest to keep him lying flat. "Just be still.. the tube is blocked and I have to clear it.. you're fine.. "

BeachHead struggled to breathe and reached towards his side only to have his hand pushed away. "Can't.. "

"You can't breathe.. I know.. just a moment and I'll have it clear.. stay calm.. you're doing fine.." For a student doctor the young man was very cool and collected and easily fended off the weakened attempts his patient made to grasp the chest tube himself. LadyJaye shifted a little closer to the bed but hesitated to do anything that might hinder the medical procedure. Flint put a hand onto her arm to reassure her although he was feeling more nervous the longer Beach went without breathing properly.

A minute of the intern poking and doing things with shiny instruments and Beach suddenly gasped in a deep breath. "There.. hang on." The intern pulled a oxygen mask from the wall and fastened it over the Ranger's face, twisting the vent slightly. "Breathe slow.. don't hyperventilate.. you're fine.."

Beach gave a thumb's up and continued to take deep breaths, coughing ever so often.

"Try not to cough.. I know it feels like you should cough.. try not to." Within minutes all was well and the Ranger moved to pull the mask off. "No.. leave it on for now. We'll give you some extra O2 for thirty minutes or so and I'll come back to check your blood/oxy levels. Alright? Don't roll onto the chest tube. That's probably what happened. Don't mess with it. See? This is why we don't let patients leave with tubes hanging out of their chests." He was glared at. "Try to rest. Do you want me to leave the head of the bed down so you can sleep?" Beach shook his head. "Alright.. but don't be trying to talk. I'm going to let your visitors stay but only if you're resting properly when I come back. Got it?" He raised up the head of the bed so the Ranger was sitting up more and checked all his vital signs and readouts one more time, received another glare and left, passing CoverGirl and Seth as they returned.

CoverGirl immediately knew something had gone wrong when she saw Beach with the O2 mask on. "What happened??"

Beach gave her an 'okay' sign and motioned to his side. Jaye filled her in. "He twisted the chest tube and couldn't breathe.. but he's okay now. Just a little excitement and a lesson to the stubborn Ranger about how he really isn't fit to leave the hospital." She was glared at as well. "It's true.. or are you just a really slow learner?"

"Bite me.." The husky whisper made his thoughts pretty clear.

Flint held up his wrist. "Hate to say it.. but if Beach isn't going to go die or anything, we have to get out of here." He saw BeachHead's eyes go to CoverGirl for just a flicker of an instant. "Courtney don't have to leave.. but Jaye and I have to get moving or we're going to miss the flight home. Duke will skin me alive if I delay getting back."

BeachHead made a few shooing motions at Flint.

"Yeah yeah.." Flint stepped another foot away. "Next time you're going to take a risky potshot at my girlfriend's head.. I hope you'd take a little more time to aim."

Beach sat up and pointed at him angrily, pulling off the oxygen mask. "Ness time leave you wit' no gun drawn.." He coughed and lost his voice for a moment, struggling to catch his breath. "..see you savin' no one.."

LadyJaye managed to look horrified at Flint. "Seriously? He didn't hit me.. it was a great damned shot! And he's right! He only had a few seconds to jump out after CoverGirl or she'd been dead! He was the only person with a weapon drawn to be able to use it at all. Don't EVEN go there Flint!"

"But he.."

"Shut up!" Jaye crossed her arms and waited for him to try to protest again. "I can't believe you!"

Flint swallowed and looked at her. "I'm sorry." She raised an eyebrow. "Oh geez.." He turned to BeachHead who looked remarkably pleased at Jaye's fierce defense of him. "I'm sorry. I appreciate that you saved Jaye and that you did so in a dramatic and skilled fashion that I would never have been able to pull off because I am nothing but a moron compared to the almighty Ranger BeachHead." His monotone delivery made Beach roll his eyes. "Happy now? Anyone ELSE want to try to humiliate me?"

CoverGirl's brows lowered a little more. "No. You're doing quite well all by your lonesome."

He leveled a finger at her. "I'm going to have that rank chat with you yet."

"Go for it. I'll have a chat about you respecting people under you." She scowled back at him.

He gave up. "Fine. Whatever. Nice to meet you Miss Beth and.. umm..Seth. CoverGirl please stay out of trouble and keep your Ranger on a short leash. Beach.. do whatever you want.. you're going to do it anyway. Duke can deal with the fallout. Jaye.. we have to go." He stalked out looking fairly low and Jaye gave Beach's leg a squeeze.

"Behave.. heal fast. The longer you're gone, the more stuff we're going to do to your PT course." She grinned as he booted her rear before she could hop off the bed. "Courtney.. glad you didn't die." She hugged the slender blond and nodded at Aunt Beth and Seth. "Nice to meet both of you. And thank you for the packages you sent. Don't think we're all like Flint.. and he's not a bad guy.. it's just.. well.. Beach here brings out the worst in him."

"I'm sure he's not all bad. Just rude." Aunt Beth watched her leave as well. "I suppose we should get out of your hair as well." Beach spread his hands out. "Seth has to get back to the house.. as do I. I can't leave the farm for very long, and now that I'm reassured that you are in good hands, I can leave again." She reached to replace the oxygen mask on his face causing him to make a face at her. "Leave that on until they say you can take it off." A quick hug and she turned to hug a startled CoverGirl as well. "You take good care of him."

"I'll do my best." She watched the older woman leave, trailed after by Seth who was simply too tongue-tied to say goodbye to her. "How are you doing Beach?"

He shrugged and tilted his hand side-to-side. "Hungry."

"Stop talking." Her voice was half-hearted at best. "I'm sure they'll bring you something soon." She settled onto the edge of his bed and reached to fiddle with his hair a little. He put a hand on her stomach and pressed her back to relax along the upright head of the bed, hitching the pillow over so she could share it. "Alright alright.. " Wriggling a little, she got comfy and let him settle in beside her, albeit with that careful measure of distance between them. He did tilt his head into her fingers, encouraging her to continue stroking his hair. "Are you feeling okay? Not too much pain?"

A heavy shrug of his shoulders but he shook his head, careful not to dislodge her hand from his head. Her fingers trailed lower to trace along the edge of the bandage on his neck covering the nasty gash. "I'm so sorry you got hurt."

His head shook side to side. "Not yer fault.."

"Shush. No talking. It's still my fault for being that close to the cargo door.. I shouldn't have been right there.. " He opened his mouth and she put her finger up. "Shhh. I know it's stupid but that's kind of how I feel. I know it's that idiot's fault.. he chose to kick me out.. but I feel like you risked your life to save mine and you got hurt and I didn't."

He reached to take her hand and smoothed his fingers across it carefully. Tracing along one of the many thin scarlines on her hand he put his own hand up and let her look at his own marring and gouges. "I know Beach, we've both taken some beating and all.. but this time it was just.. I dunno. It's stupid."

He smiled and touched his nose and pointed at her. "Oh shut up you. See if I get you more ice." The pitiful look out of the deep brown eyes made her smile. "Yes.. I'll get you more ice." He reached over to pick up the cup and showed it to her. "Oh geez.. NOW? How are you eating that much ice?"

"Hungry.." He gave her the soulful gaze again and she relented. "T'anks.."

"You know.. everyone knows I have a soft spot for big dirty hunks of metal.. what with me driving tanks for my MOS.. but who'd believe I have such a soft spot for big dirty hunks in general?" She slipped off the edge of the bed and took the cup. "I'll be right back."

He watched her leave and counted carefully to fifty before he tossed the blankets back and slipped out of the bed. Plucking the ends of the wire sensors off his chest, he removed the I.V. line easily, pressing his finger over the spot to keep it from bleeding. Once it stopped, he tugged his hospital gown around him more securely and padded out into the hallway.

One of the nurses caught him before he made it halfway down the ward. "Just where do you think you're headed?" He pointed vaguely down the ward while continuing to walk slowly. "No.. you go back to bed." Giving a vague shrug, he pretended to sign at her while just making random motions.. just in case she understood ASL. "I don't understand.. stop.. you can't leave yet." He stopped and signed very earnestly at her before waving vaguely down the ward again. "I don't understand.. wait.. I'll get Jenine.. she's good at sign language.." He nodded and stood still while she hurried away. The instant she was going through the door to the nurses' station he took off, almost managing a trot while holding his side tightly. Once he reached the elevators, he hit the up button and took the first car up. The nurses would all assume he was headed downwards.

Two levels up, he grabbed a IV pole left in the hallway and pushed it slowly along as he walked with his head down as if merely walking after surgery. Doctors were always after people to get up and walk as soon as possible. Working his way across the floor, he arrived at the east wing elevators and took THOSE down to the second floor. He left the IV pole behind and moved across that floor easily, headed for the stairs instead of the elevators. Walking down those two flights strained him greatly. Each step downward jarred his side and he gritted his teeth and took them as quickly as he could hobble down them. On the ground floor landing he paused to take a few breaths.

If he remembered the layout correctly, and this wasn't the first time he'd escaped Fort Benning's premier hospital, he was only fifty feet from one of the front exits. A casual walk and he was out. Slipping out of the stairwell door, he tried to look casual as he wandered across the lobby and reached for the door. The hand that clamped onto his wrist was large and meaty. "Crap.."

"Don't talk. We've been told you're not supposed to be talking. Come along, we'll get you a wheelchair and give you a ride back up to your floor." The huge orderly smiled as he muscled the recalcitrant patient along the lobby floor easily. BeachHead cursed both the guy who'd decided hospital lobby areas needed smooth tiled floors and the fact that sock-covered feet didn't have any traction on them. Struggling to get away just made him slide around in a very distressingly undignified manner. When he was joined by a second large intern, BeachHead sighed and let them drag him to a wheelchair.

"Can walk.." His weak protest went unheard as they smiled and took him to the elevators to ride back up to the surgical ward. Once taken back to his bed, he got up and climbed in to give them all sulky looks.

CoverGirl was seated in the chair, reading a magazine she'd gotten while downstairs in the cafeteria. "How far did you get?"

"Front door." He croaked out.

"Impressive. I heard the alert go out over the PA. You'd think they would have caught you before you got to the front doors." He shrugged. "You're getting sneakier. Maybe you've been hanging out with SnakeEyes too long?" That earned her a nasty look. "No offense."

"Whut'ver." He cleared his throat. "Salt?" He tipped his hand back as if he were drinking and CoverGirl stared at him. "Gargle?"

"Oh.. salt-water to gargle? I'll see about it. Are you just trying to get me out of the way for another escape attempt?" He shook his head but she looked doubtful. "Yeah right.."

He mimed looking with big eyes and shook his head at her again, then glanced at his wrist.

"Oh.. I see. Everyone will be watching you to escape now, so you'll wait until later on to try again." He gave her a thumb's up. "You're impossible." A fairly enthusiastic nod answered that statement and she sighed. "All right then.."

By the time the nurse brought in salt-water for him, the annoyed intern was stabbing his forearm for the eighth time trying to get his IV reinserted. "Hold still..."

"Stop stabbin' me.." The hoarse voice protested for the seventh time.

"Well, if you hadn't pulled OUT your other IV then I wouldn't have to put a new one in. So it's your own damned fault. So just BE STILL!" At this point the intern was frustrated and the nurse cleared her throat. "What? He's being very uncooperative."

"How about you let me try a couple times? He's had three IVs already and is probably running out of good veins." She stepped aside as the intern moved away, Taking up BeachHead's thickly muscled forearm, she felt along the lines for a good spot. "Make a fist." She hummed softly. "How many times did you stick him?"

"Eight. I had it in twice but he jerked and it blew out both times." The young man peered over her shoulder as she tapped up a large ropey vein. BeachHead struggled to hold still as she plucked up a large bore IV and inserted it smoothly. "Well heck. See?" He turned an accusing look on the Ranger. "If you'd held still for me, I wouldn't have had to stick you so many times."

"Bite me.." He rolled his eyes at them both as they shushed him.

The nurse taped his arm up and sighed at him. "IF you feel the urgent need to escape again.. please don't remove the IV. If it comes back out one more time, I'm going to bring the whole half-dozen trainees who haven't stuck ANY patients before and use you to teach them how to put in IVs, got it?" He sighed at her, trying to look pitiful. "Don't even think I'll fall for the big brown eyes. I've read your file, Sneeden."

He shrugged at her. Once he'd gargled salt-water a few times, he coughed and stretched himself out, rubbing at the incision in his side. CoverGirl had returned and gave his hand a pat. "Don't tug at the stitches."

"Hurts."

"Don't talk."

He snorted derisively.

"Don't snort at me either." Before he could do it, she spoke up calmly. "No sighing dejectedly either. You lost all your brownie points by trying to escape. Now you can just rest a while."

"M'kay." He grinned when she shushed him again and swatted his leg with her magazine. He made a face and rubbed the leg and pulled the blanket back to show off one of the neatly taped gashes.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know you had a boo-boo there." She adroitly whacked his leg again higher up to miss it. "How's that?" His false hurt expression made little impact on her. "Suck it up, buttercup."

"Mean.." He coughed and pointed at her.

"How about you just rest? Stop fussing at me, stop talking and just rest? I'll go find something to busy myself with and get a shower. I'll come back later on to check on you." She ignored the rather forlorn look he tried on her. "You'll be fine.. without me to pester, maybe you'll get some sleep. I'll tell the nurse to bring you more ice in a bit too so when you run out you'll have more. Behave while I'm gone." She bent to press lips to his head quickly and smiled as he twitched away. "Rest.. and no talking."

He watched her leave and then laid around for a short while until he got too bored to stay put. Climbing back out of the bed, he looked at the IV and then decided to go with the safe bet and took the IV bag down to carry with him. Sensor leads got unplugged again and he wandered to the nurses station.

"What are you doing!? Don't you think you'll escape again!" He shrugged at the irate nurse and settled into the chair beside the desk with a sigh. "Go back to bed!"

"Bored.." He coughed and both nurses chastised him about talking. He held up his hands and one noticed the bag of IV fluids and fussed at him about that.

"Well at least he didn't pull out the IV this time." The second nurse pulled an pole over and hooked the bag onto it. "There. You can sit out here for fifteen minutes.. then it's back to bed. Got it?"

He nodded and watched them filling out paperwork and bustling around. "Pen?" He received a raised eyebrow. "Please?"

"Stop talking. No you cannot have a pen." At his spread hands query, she shook her head. "No, I give you a pen, you'll just use it to stab someone. Then I'll have MORE work to patch up whoever you stab.. and if it's one of the interns, I'll have to cover their work too. No pen for you."

He grunted and crossed his arms at her.

"No. No weapons for Sneeden. That's final."

He reached over and twisted the IV pole apart in only a few seconds, hefting the length of metal pole in his hand and showing it to her. Before she could panic, he reassembled it.

"Oh very funny. Yes you can make a weapon out of anything.. big scary Ranger. You are two seconds from me sedating your ornery butt, you get me?" He shook his head. "You try me. You'll wake up with the mother of all hangovers when I get done with you. If you give me an ounce of trouble, I'm taking your hospital gown too. You'll be escaping naked." He shrugged with a casual air but it was totally belied by the deep crimson blush. "Uh-huh."

Dr Bessette came by and dropped some files onto the desk then did a double take at his patient sitting there. "What's he doing out here?"

"He's sitting.. he has six minutes, then he's going to go happily back to his bed to rest for a while.. if he knows what's good for him." The nurse's no nonsense tone made the doctor smile.

"Well, as long as they have you well in hand.." He started to walk away and Beach stopped him with a raised hand. "What?"

"Pen?" He coughed softly and rubbed his throat. The surgeon took a deep breath and reached to his pocket to lift out one of his pens.

The nurse pointed at him. "No. We do NOT give Sneeden weapons."

"But.. it's just a pen." Dr Bessette looked from the harmless writing implement to the seated man who still held his hand out for it.

"Right.. Sneeden once opened up a intern's leg down to the kneecap with a tongue depressor." The nurse gave a quelling look at the grin that spread over the Ranger's face. "We do not give him already pointy things."

"A tongue depressor?? Good lord." Dr Bessette pointed at him. "She's right.. you cause too much trouble and you'll spend the rest of your stay here sleeping off sedation in heavy restraints. Oh.. and no more escape attempts."

A loud snort and BeachHead looked away tapping his fingers on the edge of the desk. The one nurse walked off with the surgeon discussing another patient leaving him seated to watch the other nurse. He motioned at her and signed carefully. *Food good.*

"Food? Maybe this afternoon." She checked a paper. "You're on the sheet for soup and juice.. and if you behave you can have tea. If you're very very good, I'll make sure you get some iced tea even. If you're not good, you're getting grapefruit juice and beef broth." He made a face. "Umm-hmm. Nurse Margie isn't the only one who knows how to punish trouble-making patients."

*Pain.* He made the sign a few times for her.

"You're in pain? Or we're all being pains?" He held up two fingers. "Yes, we're all pains in your butt. We only want you to get well so you can leave. Especially the 'leave' part. Trust me.. we don't want to keep you in here any longer than necessary."

He dropped his gaze to the floor and she relented. "Look.. if you keep it quiet.. I'll give you a cup of apple juice to tide you over.. but you have to go back to bed. You narc on me and I'll make sure you need a foley catheter." He held out a hand to shake on the deal and got to his feet with a visible effort, hobbling the first few steps before he straightened to walk slowly back to his bed. He rehung his IV bag himself and settled down with the magazine CoverGirl had left behind. He was lucky she didn't go for the stupid women's magazines about make-up and hair styles. Of course.. motors and muscle cars weren't exactly his thing either.. but magazines in general tended to bore him.

The nurse was true to her word and snuck him a small cup of juice and although he protested by holding up his fingers to indicate the size of the cup, he accepted it anyway. Once the juice was downed, he began to check the timing of the interns that passed by his bay. There seemed to be one hovering near the opening to the curtains all too often.

He waited until the guarding intern left on an errand and got up carefully to poke his head out. He looked into the nurse's face and tried a smile. She'd been waiting about two feet away.

"Go back to bed." Her unamused eyes told him it wasn't just a suggestion. He nodded and retreated. Timing was important.. since his trip to the nurses station had served as a quick scouting run and also a set of misdirection with his slow hobbling performance, he was decently certain he could make it out without too much trouble.

After a few minutes, as he expected, the nurse poked her head into his bay to check. She found him laying still, the magazine laid on his chest as the exhausted Ranger slept. She tiptoed in and checked his vital signs quietly without touching him and then left just as quietly. The instant she exited, his eyes flicked open and he started unhooking his wires. The IV took him a second as he figured out to detach the inserted catheter from the lines to the bag of fluids and meds. If he wasn't caught, he could always remove the IV itself later on.

Slipping out of the bed, he carefully laid down to peer under the bottom edge of the curtains. He saw the legs of the one intern where the guy was seated again only ten feet away. Cursing silently in his head, Beach looked to the side along the row of other bays, and smiled to himself. Crawling carefully along the floor, he easily moved along the length of the whole section of the surgical ward to the end, passing from one curtained patient bay to the next by going under all the intervening curtains. The few patients awake enough to notice him merely looked at him and let him pass without comment, one heavily bandaged sergeant giving him a thumb's up of encouragement.

Once he reached the end, he lowered himself to peer out from under the curtain and waited for the single nurse to walk away before he slipped out and stood up carefully, feeling the pull of the chest tube. Half a dozen of the gashes that had been taped shut felt like they'd opened and when he twisted to check, there was blood showing through a couple of the gauze bandages. As he tried to walk casually to the elevators they dinged and he had to move quickly to a closet to hide. Closing the door quietly, he turned and found a huge bin of laundry and happily rooted into it to find a set of scrub pants that would fit him. Shirts were all too small however and he settled for a lab coat. Tugged shut securely, he hoped it wasn't obvious that he didn't have a shirt on underneath. Peeping out, he smoothed his hair as best he could and walked slowly to the elevators again, heading back up to the upper floors.

Exiting, he continued the slow walk, plucking up a clipboard from a unattended desk. Pretending to flip through the papers, he walked past several interns and nurses who ignored him. The pen he tucked down into his sock for later just in case.

There was a loud triple chime over the PA system and his escape was announced again. An intern shook his head as he walked by BeachHead. "Danged Rangers.. I have to go try to help round him up again." BeachHead gave him the blandest look of disinterest possible, obviously very absorbed in his own work.

"Good luck." His hoarse voice didn't illicit any second look and he went back to walking down the hallway on his way to the stairs in a distracted fashion, pausing to compare the papers on a patient's board hung outside the room as a cluster of doctors and interns came by. When they passed into a private room, he turned back to head for the stairs again. His escape was going awfully well.

Finally downstairs and he cracked the door open to check the front lobby area. No less than ten interns loitered around looking way too alert for his taste. He bent and peeled one of the bloody bandages off his leg and tucked the tape in so it wasn't noticeable. Then he opened the door up and staggered out holding his bandage to his forehead hiding part of his face, waving at the nearest ones.

"Sneeden.. headed to roof.. tried to stop.." He watched nine of the ten rush through the stairwell door and waved the tenth one to follow. "I'm fine..go.." Happy his voice had held out long enough to get enough words out, he took only three steps towards the lobby to give intern number ten a chance to get through the door after his intern buddies. Then he turned and headed out the exterior door, tucking the gauze pad out of sight into a pocket. Walking down the wide entranceway steps, BeachHead smiled to himself and tried to look casual.. tired intern leaving his shift, nothing to be concerned about.. definitely not an escaped patient...

He sighed heavily when the hands seized his arms. "Crap.."

Two large orderlies.. with four approaching interns. The stocky black orderly attached to his right arm gave him a sad shake of his head. "Nice try Sneeden. Really.. I'm impressed. Back to your bed." He was patted down. "Where's the pen?" When Beach shrugged at him, the orderly snorted. "You have a clipboard.. you have the pen too.." A more thorough pat down netted one pen out of his sock. "I swear.. Rangers."

Hustled back inside and stripped of his concealing coat, BeachHead sat in the wheelchair as the all-clear was announced over the intercom. "How?" He croaked at the young man now pushing him through the hallways towards the elevators to take him back upstairs.

"I shouldn't tell you.. but I know you wily Rangers won't repeat the same trick twice. Most doctors leaving the hospital wear shoes." He grinned as BeachHead looked down at his socks. "Yep. Like I said.. nice try."

"Crap." Beach repeated.

"Don't feel too bad.. having you here is turning into a great training session on how to corral non-complaint patients." His orderly seemed rather cheerful. "Besides.. it certainly hasn't been a boring day. I'm pretty sure you won't have another chance to escape though. The nurses on the surgical floor take it real personal when patients manage to escape."

Beach grunted loudly. "We'll see 'bout that."

* * * *

When CoverGirl returned she stopped at the nurses station. "Is he still here, or has he managed to escape?"

"Oh he's in bed."

She grinned. "Are you sure? He might have snuck out since the last time you checked in on him."

The nurse gave a casual shake to her head. "No.. I talked to him and explained that it was important for surgical patients to rest for at least 48 hours after surgery, especially with chest tubes still in place. He understands now and assured me he's not going to make any more attempts. He's a very reasonable man when you take the time to talk to him." She smiled placidly at CoverGirl. The tank jockey was pretty sure she'd just lost her eyebrows into her hairline.

"Umm.. okay.. maybe you misunderstood.. I'm here for Sneeden.. big cantankerous Ranger? Lots of scars and messy brown hair?" She waved a hand vaguely. "Sound familiar?"

"Yes.. Sergeant major Sneeden. That's who I'm talking about. Quite a nice gentleman. Very reasonable and cooperative." The placid expression didn't waver and CoverGirl gave up and assumed that she was new on the floor.

"Okay.. I'm gonna go check in on him."

"You do that, tell him I'll be by shortly to see him."

"Okaaaay..." The leggy blond walked on down to the curtained bay and stepped in. "Hey Beach. Oh.. well. This explains it."

Beach raised his head up and wriggled his fingers at her. He couldn't raise more than his head with the heavy leather restraint cuffs locking all four limbs down securely. The chest strap passing across his chest and under each arm kept him from scooting around at all. "Hey.. ice?"

She shook her head. "Yes.. I brought you a fresh cup of ice. I see you've been behaving about as well as I expected." She settled the couple of magazines to the side and looked down at him.

"Been good fer hours.." His voice had improved slightly. "Throat hurts..."

"I'll give you some ice. Stop trying to talk. Of course you've been good for hours.. you've probably been very good ever since they strapped you to the bed with four point restraints." He shrugged and wriggled his hands at her to show he couldn't sign at her. "Well, you can't talk and now you can't use ASL either. That's your own fault. And here I even got some gun magazines that you won't be able to read either."

He tugged his wrists against the cuffs futilely. "Loose.."

"No way. Now you're stuck here. Give these nurses some piece and quiet. Little do they know how fortunate they are that you yanked that breathing tube out. Otherwise you'd be screaming your head off at everyone." She fished a piece of ice out of the cup for him.

He nodded. "Tried.." Opening up his mouth he took the chunk of ice to suck at it.

"Of course you tried. I can only stay for about ten minutes.. then I have to leave. You're now on restricted visitors." She shook a finger at him when he began to protest. "Your own fault. You don't behave, they don't give you privileges. You don't behave.. they put you in four-point restraints."

He shook his head. "Five.."

"Five what?"

He turned just the slightest bit red. "Five point restraints.." He coughed a few times and swallowed carefully.

"What the heck is a five point restraint system? You only have four limbs to tie down!" She crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at him.

"Foley catheter.." He blushed harder. "Not goin' no where."

She started to laugh and he glared at her. "Shut it, Barbie..is not funny."

"Oh nooo, that's real danged funny. I like these nurses.. I'm going to have them call Lifeline and give him tips." The glower she received made her laugh harder. "Don't worry.. it's just another day or so.. then you can get the chest tube out and we'll go back to the Pit."

"Long danged day with a foley in ya.."

"I bet.." She lost it to laugh all over again. "Sorry.. it IS funny!"

* * * *

End

I hope you enjoyed it.. and I hope to write up some new things quickly, thank you all for reading and especially thank you to the great reviewers!


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